How do I tell my parents I want to be happy?

**Charleena** · 10-03-2011 01:20 PM

I'm seventeen years old and I'll be going to college next year. My original plan was to enlist in the USMC, but I just found out that my previous injuries restrict me from doing so.

My parents are very supportive, but pushy. They want me to go through school and become a surgeon. I wouldn't mind being a surgeon, because I love helping people and I'm generally fascinated with anything involving science. But I don't think I'll be able to make it through another eight if not more years of schooling after my senior year in high school. I like learning and all, and I want to go to college, but I feel like anything more to that exceeds my breaking point. I don't think I love school enough to put myself through that, even if I could be a successful doctor.

I think my overall goal in life is to just be happy and appreciate life. I'm worried if I become a doctor, I won't be happy. Apart from the sciences, I've always liked media arts, specifically film directing. I feel like that 'crowd' that is in the media arts is more like myself and I would fit in pretty well - I can think very artistically when I allow myself too and I'm most comfortable around people like that. I guess I just see myself being very happy in a department like that where creativity is success.

I feel like I'm approaching the point when I need to tell my parents how I'm feeling, but I'm worried. They want me to be successful and rich - and I doubt I will be raking in the big bucks directing films. I've been planning (or saying that I have been) on becoming a doctor - not a film director. Nonetheless, I just want to be happy, and I really don't want college to be a dread because I would be taking hard chemistry and physics courses - I want it to be fun. But how do I tell my parents I want a fun life rather than a 'rich' life? I don't have a very talkative relationship with them, and it's sometimes hard for me to show them my emotions.

A reason why I'm starting to feel so strongly about having a happy life instead is because I've been really stressed lately. I just completed my SATs, and my parents will be disappointed if I don't have an outstanding score, which I don't think I do. I feel like I've been pushed too hard during high school that the pressure has burned me out academically. Is it wrong for me to not want others to demand so much from me?

Sorry for all of the questions. I don't really have many friends I can talk to about this sort of things.

**DSemcho** · 10-03-2011 01:44 PM

How about teaching? That's a job you can get from just a BA. I chose Psychology, and I can't get a job with just a BA in it. But I'm planning on being a therapist, so I have to get a MA anyways.

Anywho, I think the best thing to do is to sit down, make out a plan (for like the next 4 - 5 years) and a major, and then when it's time show them the plan you've made, sit them down and tell them your happy that they are so involved in your life, and that they are concerned for your future, but that you have a plan.

**rosekitten** · 10-03-2011 02:46 PM

What about taking a year off? As someone who changed her major a few different times, I don't see the push to force kids off to college right after HS. Take some time, work, volunteer, anything, to really think about your life and what you want to do with it. Your parents may want you to become a surgeon, but they don't have to live the rest of your life, you do. Take some time off to regenerate and decide what you want to do.

**DSemcho** · 10-03-2011 02:56 PM

I did take a year off and I still changed my major 3 times in the first year. Everyone does it.

**ItsASecret** · 10-03-2011 04:27 PM

I am a science student right now, 4th year, I wanted to become a doctor it was my life's goal. However, once you get going into the sciences you learn very quickly if you can keep up the extremely high grades that med school is looking for (here in Canada the Universities are looking for a minimum 3.9-3.92 GPA to even have your application looked at). I could not do that, I can be close but it is real tough emotionally and mentally to keep up with that amount of dedication. Just like you said the courses are hard, the chemistry the physics the insane amount of memorizing in the biology courses....do not do it if you are not passionate about science. I love science, I went into it wanting to be that doctor but low and behold all these biology courses you end up taking opens up sooooooo many other fields other than medicine that can land you great money while still having that University science degree. For me it turned out the cellular side of things is where my interest went to. Did not think it would because that M.D designation is what I wanted from the get go. Thanks to the lab components of courses my focus is now on research, which doctors end up reading upon in order to help other people. If science is still what you are interested in but maybe not a doctor take a year in General science studies, get immersed in the labs and see if that sparks any interest. Your first year in science has arts courses anyway, out of requirement, so you also get to experience the English, Film Studies, Psychology, Sociology whatever you want as long as it is the Arts credits. If the Arts interest you then transfer programs. But with science there are tons of great careers out there if you can stick through all the bs scientific papers, midterms, and long nights memorizing biochemical pathways. As well, if you find that field that interests you do not forget about the Masters and PhD programs. You can still have that Dr. infront of your name with the PhD without getting killed in the med school application process lol.