I dont know what to do anymore

**pdsky** · 10-13-2011 01:16 AM

To keep this short, I feel alienated in my family. I am so un-happy in my house that I have reached a state of depression, for the third time. Me and my father do not get along. He never has anything positive to say about me and makes me feel like a horrible child 24/7 (He does alot more to make me feel like , but we dont want to be here for days) My mom has hep-c and is on a medical trial for it, so shes allways grumpy. I spend everyday taking care of them getting them drinks making their food cleaning the whole house. Its been like this for all my life, and for a 2 years or so I was a heavy alcoholic. I was always drunk, and allways drinking more (by the way im only 17) I cant stand living in this house anymore, but I have no way out. I need help to figure out ways to pull myself back outta this slump before there is no coming back, any suggestions ?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 10-13-2011 03:17 AM

Hi sweet,

Are you still with your boyfriend?

Can I say that you and only you decide who you are.

You know we can't choose our parents and such a huge responsibility on your shoulders, i can see why you drank to "forget" where you were/are...People turn to food, alcohol, cigarettes, lots of things to escape but you didn't turn to drugs

So, that's something to be proud of.

I want you to understand, people that are very sad in life, have no direction will just live..And in that, they may use, and also they will want you to be on "their" level so that "they" feel good....so they don't feel someone is achieving, are happy.

DON'T let your Father win in that regard, they are words, only words.

He is obviously very un-happy in life as is your Mom and they see you as, pfttt you were created by them, you do everything.

Problem is, is that you are not of age to be able to cope and pay your own way somewhere away from there...

I want you to realise you are not like them.

You are strong and will be someone in your life.

Start focusing, what are your dreams, goals, in life? You and only you by the way decide what weight you wish to be, not a boyfriend... This is a reaction of wanting the love you are not getting, so trying to please a man, what he wants, it's time that it's all about you okay.

Tell us your dreams, goals, passions and let's focus on that...

If you have no Grandmother, Aunty that would take you in, understand, then you are stuck until you can obtain part time work and find people to share with...

17 is close to getting all of it, so start working out what you want in the next 2 years...

And, write that down here.

Keep believing sweet, you have alot of years to be you and not be apart of this anymore, it's a horrible, stepping stone still but it's not far away.

CW

**Beautiful Disaster** · 10-13-2011 06:54 AM

Glad you're here.

I know you feel alone in your situation, but you're not. I've seen others post here about similar situations, and I agree, it's a very difficult and frustrating one. But let me start off by saying this, life is beautiful........but some of the journeys on the road of life are TOUGH as tough can get. There will be times like this one, that you feel hopeless and like there is no way out. You must learn now, as a young adult, that dealing with your frustrations by drinking or damaging your body or letting yourself slip off into a dark depression is going to get you nowhere better. What it WILL get you, is an endless cycle of exactly this. As CW said, YOU determine what you're going to be in this life. You determine whether or not it's going to be a great life, or a cruddy one. You're so close to being of the age to get out there and make it on your own..... so which one do you choose? Great life or cruddy one?

If you choose to have a great life, then pick your heart up and remind yourself daily that the truest test of strength is ones ability to remain hopeful and patient in times of trial. What are your dreams in life? Let's forget about your family situation for a second and think about you. What do you dream of your life being like in 5 years?

**stariana** · 10-13-2011 07:28 AM

hello brave young girl . . . it takes a lot to say what you have on here. at 17, you are handling a lot and should be extremely proud of the woman you have already become. most girls your age wouldn't be as determined as you. i am 45 now, but at 17 i felt a lot like you, could never please anyone, do enough, etc. but guess what? you are in training for all you will encounter in your lifetime, and you have the drive to become whatever you want in life. you are strong, very brave, very independent, and very loving. count on the fact that you can depend on no one in this lifetime but yourself, and have faith that you know you can take on whatever life has to throw at you. cus it does . . . and at least you are ready for anything. never mind about your father, he obviously has issues of his own, and doesn't have a clue how to communicate. or the courage to do so. just let him be. he can't make you feel bad unless you let him. don't let him in your mind, you have control over your reaction. all we can control is ourselves. your mom, she is sick. my ex-husband had hep-c, so i understand that too. it makes them very, very sick. no matter how she is treating you, find it in your heart to have compassion for how she is feeling. again, don't take it personally because she is mean. as for waiting on them, they are adults, they should be taking care of themselves. take time to put you first, do what you must, and concentrate on the person YOU need to be for YOU. life is just beginning for you, and you have no idea how wonderful it will be once you take the focus off of the negative, and revel in your strength. you got this. much love & peace.

**jns** · 10-23-2011 11:55 AM

Originally Posted by pdsky

To keep this short, I feel alienated in my family. I am so un-happy in my house that I have reached a state of depression, for the third time. Me and my father do not get along. He never has anything positive to say about me and makes me feel like a horrible child 24/7 (He does alot more to make me feel like , but we dont want to be here for days) My mom has hep-c and is on a medical trial for it, so shes allways grumpy. I spend everyday taking care of them getting them drinks making their food cleaning the whole house. Its been like this for all my life, and for a 2 years or so I was a heavy alcoholic. I was always drunk, and allways drinking more (by the way im only 17) I cant stand living in this house anymore, but I have no way out. I need help to figure out ways to pull myself back outta this slump before there is no coming back, any suggestions ?

Please give more information. What type of things does your father do and say that is so negative? Was it like that before you started abusing alcohol? How do you get alcohol? Is it illegal for you to drink alcohol at your age and when you were younger? Have you been rebelling for a long time? Has your father been negative for a long time? Does he work and how much? What was your relationship with your mother before the latest trial? How long has she had Hep-C? Did she do something foolish or irresponsible to get Hep-C? Does she work and how much?

I'm sure that having your mother sick is no fun for her and no fun for your father.