Thread: Disaster :'(

Last week my little girl was sent to the ER. When we were in the little registration room before we were assigned an actual room, I had asked my husband where he parked since we both got there at different times. He didn't answer so I asked him again then I said his name twice before he shouted an annoyed "WHAT?". It completely caught me off guard. My mom was there too. So I don't remember clearly because I was extremely mad but somehow he started yelling at me and my mom and I started yelling at him to leave her alone. Not even I had ever yelled at my mom like that. It really upset me. So the fight was about him thinking I was cheating on him (he recently proved that I wasn't), we always keep our problems to ourselves but he kept telling me if I told my mom what I did (I did nothing) so I told my mom everything my husband thought I was doing and he told my mom I was selling myself and she told him in a regular tone to never say that about me. The whole time she was talking calmly, and not once did she belittle him or offend him. On top of that he told her he didn't want to know anything about or care for her and my dad.

So my husband as mature as he is, dragged my mom into our problem then yelled at her, he got his parents into it telling them my mom was the one shouting at him and verbally attacking him and that I was a . This whole time my little girl was in the hospital very sick which pissed me off more. He couldn't even put his own daughter first, oh and that, he said she wasn't his and he wasn't going to care for her or give her nothing until he has proof that she was his... yet he was still there at the hospital acting like a wounded puppy.

Anyway, both our parents would go and check on us and my little girl, when my parents went they didn't speak to him obviously because he made it more than clear that he didn't want anything to do with them. So he said that and they didn't talk to him and he has the nerve to act like a victim. He goes and reports to his parents that my parents don't even talk to him (hello? do you not remember what you said?). The last time my parents went to see us at the hospital, my mom said she couldn't believe I would still hold his hand after all the insults he launched at me. I wished she didn't say that but I understand why she did, he ran his mouth for a long time like a fool. I guess he was texting his mom while my parents were in there talking with my little girl. Almost as soon as my parents walked out, his mom calls in the hospital room and asks me what the is wrong with my mom. I just said "I don't know" and gave my husband the phone and again he's mouthing off about how my mom keeps attacking him. I was standing next to him and I could hear his mom talking angry then when his dad was talking all I could hear was in', in, in. In his parent's eyes, my parents were verbally abusing of their little man. As soon as he hangs up he wants me to go and talk to my parents and tell them to calm down.

WTF? He's the one that started shouting at us, he's the one that dragged my mom and I have go cool my parents down? Anyway, my mom called within a few minutes and she apologized because of what had slipped out while they were in the room but that I had to see why she said it. And I did understand.

The whole time I had to understand everybody that I didn't have any space to understand me. And I had to remain strong for my baby.

The day my baby got discharged I was so happy to go back home and sleep on a real bed. I gave my baby her medicine, fed her, changed her and put her to sleep. Then I went to sleep... only to be dragged out of bed by my again enraged husband calling me a , telling me I don't deserve to be a mother, that he wished he had her with someone else, that I don't deserve my parents, that he wished my mom was here so he could hand her to her. My mom happened to call and while eavesdropping, he heard my mom tell me that if he wanted to believe I was cheating on him, that was his choice but not my fault... he took the phone from me and started yelling at my mother again. That was the last I was willing to take from him. I text his mother and his dad called him very angry. He told my husband for all of us to go over to their house.

I wanted to go alone but now I had to go with him. He told me he didn't want me to go alone so he could protect me from his parents just in case they jumped on me. He told me not to get mad. Once we were there and talking everything out with his parents turns out that he's the one that got mad again, and his parents are the ones that had to protect me from him because he tried to start telling me again. Finally they talked sense into him.

Except... he twisted the story so much about what happened in the room when he crossed the line and started yelling at my mom that I was just lost. I was so exhausted from so many days in the hospital, exhausted from his explosive breakdowns, exhausted from every thing that I didn't even try to fight it. In the end, I was still supposed to go talk to my parents.

And all of this felt so unfair because up until he found every proof possible that I didn't cheat on him, he treated me like he told me so many things. If it was just a bunch of cuss words, I can take them but stuff he told me like what I mentioned 2 paragraphs ago, all of that broke my heart. And that he dared to yell at my wonderful mother and make her seem like some conniving to his parents and still not find it necessary to even say sorry? That night at his parent's house, they finally calmed him down and told him to get over it and that from everything I said they knew I wasn't cheating nor intended to.

After that he acted like nothing happened, like he didn't treat me like . Like he didn't disrespect my parents. Like he didn't disown our daughter. He still had the nerve to get mad at me because I didn't tell him exactly what I was going to go tell my parents when I went to talk to him.

Then yesterday I was making dinner and he was playing with our daughter and in a jokingly tone he's telling her to look at him or else he'll disown her, I said "it wont be the first time". Things went downhill yet again, after dinner we went to go lay down and I was cold so I covered myself with a small throw and he said he might as well go sleep in the living room since I don't even want to sleep under the same cover as him (he wasn't even under a cover). He tells me I've changed and that he doesn't like it, and doesn't forget to include the list of things he doesn't like about me.

Right about now I don't care about most of the stuff he tells me when he's mad, his words are worthless. Anyway, he ended up sleeping in the living room and in the morning he walked into the bedroom and told me not to look at him, I slammed the front door behind him as he walked out the house. I took a shower and cried for a long time.

What I held back and postponed for so many days to be able to understand everybody was no longer there, reality set in. My mind may understand explanations and points of view but my heart doesn't. I don't care why or for what reasons my husband acted how he acted or said what he said. All my heart knows is that it's been unfairly mistreated, like it's taken a lifetime of punches.

I went to my parents house to get a little breather only to catch my mother crying. She was so sad, she said she was scared to say anything because everybody got mad at what she said, she was referring to my husband blowing up on her and I guess my brother might have said something to set her off. I feel like all of this was my fault. It broke my heart even more to see my mother cry. Right then I realized my heart was split, one part of me loves my husband but another part is extremely disenchanted and disillusioned, that part also wants to get him out of my life as soon as possible.

I'm destroyed.
I'm physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually weakened.

What should I do? How do I take this? I need advice right now more than ever