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Reply With QuoteI think it is perfectly normal to feel this way, and as long as you and your hubby are happy that it's all good but you do need to remember that your kids won't be kids forever so your relationship with your husband needs to be important as well.
Just asking for support
I am so glad I found this forum. I know what i should be doing, but asking you all to please chime in and tell me anyway. I am very happily married, with a nice child and wanting another one soon.
My problem? I feel guilty about leaving my child with a baby sitter to go out with my wonderful husband even just once in a while, so we never get to be alone. Please tell me that it is okay!
I think it is perfectly normal to feel this way, and as long as you and your hubby are happy that it's all good but you do need to remember that your kids won't be kids forever so your relationship with your husband needs to be important as well.
You raise a good point. In fact, both my wonderful husband and I are happy, but we have our friends keep telling us we need to get out more. My relationship with my husband is great, so that is not the problem, maybe it is more our relationship with our friends.
Not only is it OK to go out with hubby, but I think necessary. You don't want to become an obsessive parent that is constantly hovering around your child. It won't be good for you or your child. Your kid will grow up and go to school, maybe away to college and one day move out, maybe move to another country and make their own life. Its better to slowly get them used to not always being around you ALL the time, otherwise on the first day of school, both you and your child will have a very difficult time. It will give your child the opportunity to learn other skill like communicating with other people besides the usual familiar faces, learning to negotiate situation that may not always be what she/he wants or feels comfortable. It will be a great learning experience for your child.
Additionally, it is very easy to lose your bond with your spouse during these times. Next thing you know, you have nothing to talk to each other about except kids.
By taking an occassional time off, you are actually being a bettter mother and wife.
Also, if you want additional kids, you are going to need that time with hubby alone
First you have to ask if there is a motive behind what your friends are saying for self gain... I can't see any personally, as if they "miss" you, you guys can have dinner parties and have them over, something I would encourage in any event, as friends are important too and you shouldn't cut off all friends just because you marry and are happy, one day, any day, you may need them..
Dating is highly important in any relationship, married or not... The two of you. My fiance of 2 years who lives with me, and I are going on a "date" today, when I finish work.. We are going out to lunch on a hillside, overlooking the sea, have a glass or two of wine, shoot some pool, laugh, talk and come home to watch a movie. It's a different atmosphere than just being at home as a family, we have a step daughter, or I do..
It's together time, and it's additional bonding time... It is important.
You should not feel scared to leave your child with someone for a date, as long as it's someone you know and trust... It's like a mini holiday, coupled with being able to get dressed up and let the love of your life, see you differently than the usual, day to day clothes and you feeling all woman as well..
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
It is important...VITAL even to your marriage to have "mom and dad" time. What you feel is very common. You just have to remind yourself of why that baby exists... because in whichever sequence it happened, you met someone (no baby involved), you fell in love with him (no baby involved) , you married and commited your life to him (no baby involved), and THEN this love and devotion resulted in this beautiful baby. Your baby needs to be a reminder of the love you have for your husband and why you are where you are to begin with.
On another note, YOU need you time. You need to get out now and then and enjoy yourself as the vibrant young beautiful woman you are.
"Be what you're looking for."
"The next time you're thinking of kicking someone when they're down, offer them your hand and help them back up instead."
Thank you all. I know you are all right, and I just need to be told these things over and over. We have made a plan to go out on Saturday for dinner and we are both very excited to go out for a few hours.
Dinner parties at our house is also another excellent idea.
Thank you all.
No, no, no you don't get out of it that easily, we want to know how Saturday night goes, what you are going to wear, where you are going and then after, how it all went
Dinner parties at home we do at least once a month, as well as dating at least once a month, so that makes two times a month minimum, it's a must
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Had a great date, thank you all for the advice. Who knows, the new child may be coming sooner than expected ... Just kidding!!
Lol's well with a sense of humor like that, you had to have had a great night.
So, dinner party? Plan it
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
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