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Thread: How Do I Tell My Mom I Had Sex?

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    Exclamation How Do I Tell My Mom I Had Sex?


    Im 14, and ive had sex a couple of times with my current boyfriend. I know it was wrong for me to do, and i REGRET doing it. I feel i need to tell my mom, but i dont know how. My mom and i arent very close, and i know she'll freak and be so mad, and ground me forever for having sex at this age. HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!

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    Administrator Array Little's Avatar
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    Well, the first question is, how old is your boyfriend? If he is 18 or older, I would advise stopping a relationship with him as it is probably unhealthy.
    But if he is 17 or under (or whatever the laws are in your area,) how has your relationship changed after having sex? Have you decided to no longer have sex? Is he okay with this decision? If you regret it and he doesn't agree to stop having sex, he is not a good person for you to be in a relationship with right now.
    You might wonder what this has to do with your mom. Since you say you are not close with your mom and she would punish you for this, you may choose to not tell her you have had sex. As long as you feel like you can either A, stop regretting having sex, B, stop having sex and stay with your boyfriend, or C, discontinue your relationship with your boyfriend and there are no health issues, you aren't obligated to let her know.
    Is there a reason why you want to tell her? Or do you just want to get it off your chest? Best of luck.

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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array tinkerbell930's Avatar
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    Hotpink-
    I am a mom with 3 daughters (21-19-14)....I can honestly say that we NEVER want our little girls to have sex. My 2 oldest came to me after it happened. The 21 year old and 19 year old's were both 16 when they did.
    My youngest has recently started hanging out with a friend (girl) from work that is 17, so they are around older boys.
    It makes me nervous and I tell her that I don't want her to have sex till she is 35. That is not realistic at all. BUT, I would be hurt if I found out she had sex at this age.
    She is still a little girl to me. I couldn't change it if it happened...just like you can't change all the mistakes you make in your life (and we all make plenty through our lives).
    If you love your mom, I would sit and talk to her about it. I would be more hurt that my daughter didn't talk to me about it...if I found out later down the road. I also think it might help you to "think twice" about having sex any time soon because your mom does know.
    I was 15 my first time and my mother never knew about it-till I got pregnant and she took me to have an abortion--she wasn't the type of mom you could talk about anything to. She wouldn't let me go to the movies with friends or just be a kid, she was really controlling and it drove me to bad things. If I had her to talk to (like my girls do), things wouldn't have gotten as far as they did.
    My other two girls did tell me very shortly after it happened and it made them realize it wasn't something they wanted to keep doing until they were a little older. They knew I was dissapointed, but I didn't hate them or get mad at them. I just know once you lose that innocence, things in your life change way too quickly.

    Another comment about what the other person said about the age of the boy. If he is over 18 it is ILLEGAL and your mom is not who would press charges any County or City would. You wouldn't have a choice in the matter.
    IF GOD BRINGS YOU TO IT-HE WILL BRING YOU THROUGH IT!!!!

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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array tinkerbell930's Avatar
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    Default one more thing

    You also said your mom and you aren't very close...this may be something that could bring you closer if you open up to her.

    You might start with telling her that you want to talk to her and you know you haven't been close and you really want to be. Tell her you know she will be dissapointed in what you have to tell her but you NEED her love and help with the situation.

    I promise you she will be shocked and hurt and might be mad, but she is your mom and above all, she does love you and want the best for you.

    I hope you also used protection for unwanted pregnancy and std's.
    I was proud that my girls did THAT-not that they had sex though!
    IF GOD BRINGS YOU TO IT-HE WILL BRING YOU THROUGH IT!!!!

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerbell930 View Post
    You also said your mom and you aren't very close...this may be something that could bring you closer if you open up to her.

    You might start with telling her that you want to talk to her and you know you haven't been close and you really want to be. Tell her you know she will be dissapointed in what you have to tell her but you NEED her love and help with the situation.

    I promise you she will be shocked and hurt and might be mad, but she is your mom and above all, she does love you and want the best for you.

    I hope you also used protection for unwanted pregnancy and std's.
    I was proud that my girls did THAT-not that they had sex though!
    i agree with tinkerbell u should tell her it might make u and her closer because mums want to protect she will be angry but she will be happy u told her and are safe

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