Thread: Boyfriends dad & his love for money

Hi LeanaBrook and welcome.

I feel for you. It's hard when you and your boyfriend come from different backgrounds. I agree that when you marry, you also marry your spouses family. His father saying mean things about your mom is something you should not stand for. But the religious difference...Your bf being athiest is not going to go over well with your parents. Is he willing convert to your religion? Or can you live with him knowing that he doesn't believe in God? I hope that you don't plan on giving up your religion! How will you raise children? Honesty is key in a relationship and you will have to have a serious talk to your bf about your feelings. If you can make it past that talk, then you can both talk to his father. Hopefully the talk will be enough for you to 'coexist' and he'll know what not to do when he's around you or your family. It won't be easy, there's a lot of stuff to put on the table. You want to please your family, but you want to be with him, but he's tied to his family. If you're both looking toward marriage, it's going to take some huge efforts and compromises on both sides. Are you up for that?

Alibaby makes some powerful points, Lena.

You can't change your bf's father and his views; neither can he change yours.
Your families are extremely different, and what you've seen with the actions of your bf's father is just a taste of what's to come should you 2 decide to get married.

A wealthy person can't understand the things that a person of an humble background goes through; neither can a person of humble means relate to the things of the wealthy. Remember that.
He's wrong for talking about your mother like that, but if one isn't on the level of a well-off person, they definitely will think that way about a person---and they have no problem insulting them.

The question is, are you ready for this to be a constant in your life?

poor and rich can get along and live together as long as they both respect each other,

In your case, things will be fine IF you and your hubby live one thousand mile away from both your family and his.
And never arrange any gathering that let them get together.

as long as this guy respects you and every member in your family, then don't pay attention to his rude father.

one last thing, don't EVER allow to any creature on earth to degrade your mother or father, whoever insults them, is insulting you personally.

Good Luck

Originally Posted by housewife

poor and rich can get along and live together as long as they both respect each other,

In your case, things will be fine IF you and your hubby live one thousand mile away from both your family and his.
And never arrange any gathering that let them get together.

as long as this guy respects you and every member in your family, then don't pay attention to his rude father.

one last thing, don't EVER allow to any creature on earth to degrade your mother or father, whoever insults them, is insulting you personally.

Good Luck

" things will be fine IF you and your hubby live one thousand mile away from both your family and his.
And never arrange any gathering that let them get together."

LOL, I agree with this whole-heartedly....

But just one thing: what if they get married? Then that's a gathering where their families can get together.
But on the other hand, if it's too rough for the families to come together without a barrage of insults from either side, perhaps eloping would be an option????

I hope all works out well for you, Lena. You sound like you've got it together.

Originally Posted by housewife

poor and rich can get along and live together as long as they both respect each other,

In your case, things will be fine IF you and your hubby live one thousand mile away from both your family and his.
And never arrange any gathering that let them get together.

I agree with that too...sometimes that's what it takes to have peace. But that means you would have to leave your family...One of those huge compromises. You've got a lot to think about, Leana. I hope that you and your bf will find a way to make it all work.

Its funny you say that. Our wedding is EXACTLY what runs through my mind. Our wedding and then grandkids. I can only see our wedding now. Youll have the normal people conversations going on in one side of the room. And then a BIG uncomfortable space down the middle of the room. And then the typical cigar in your mouth let me laugh at your dumb joke cause you have a lot of money crowd on the other side. Its on my mind a lot. My dad and I were never extrememly close growing up so I ALWAYS wanted to marry a man with a great father. Now Im marrying into a family from the depths of cash and credit card hades. His sister is spoiled but definitely tollerable. Its just his dad. He is powerful enough to make me rethink this whole relationship.