Thread: mother woes

Originally Posted by wiggy

my mother does not treat me right. She resents me for what my sister does not have- a family and life of her own. I decided that she is not a mother figure to me. She does not know how to have a relationship with me now that I'm a mother. It's a competition for her. What should it do and how do i deal with her?

From what I gather of your post, your sisters seems to be the one that your mother favors --- am I right?

Wiggy, as strange as it may sound, some mothers become jealous of their children --- silly, but it does happen.
Since you say motherhood seems to be a "competition for her," it would be hard for her to relate to you.

I would think that there are lots of things that she can share with you since you are a mother as well. Doesn't she have any pleasant memories? Any good words of "wisdom" to share?

If you feel you can't get along with your mother, then just go on about your way and let her go on about hers, rather than stressing yourselves out with disagreements.

I would like to see a mother and daughter get along; especially with the holiday season upon us. I know that's not always possible, but it's painful to see division when there should be bonding between mother and daughter.

wiggy,

I know my mom is jealous of me, even though she hasn't said so. sounds like you have the same situation.

my sister got preggers at 17 while i was in college. i helped out with the baby since she is a single mom and what not....but then i finished college and got a good full time job where i use my degree, and just recently i got married. my mom didn't do any of the things i have done except she DID get pregnant at 16 (like sis) and married at 17 (before i was born)

do you know who she favors more? my sister. and she (mom) has said before that i think i'm better than everyone else because i try and give advice about money and losing weight... and i do try and help but only cause i manage to save my money and they can't save a penny. they try to lose weight and i've lost 20 in the past 7 months and they haven't but tend to complain about it constantly...

sorry, i'm going on and on. know that you are not alone. just like JubesInquest said, you gotta just accept that that's how she is and deal with her that way. i don't like my mom treating me the way she does, but i'm more of an adult than she is so i can handle it.

good luck. not everyone can have that mom who bakes cookies and stuff but they are our mothers regardless and you gotta give them credit for what they have done....