I didnt think I would be posting about my future mother in-law again but... she strikes again!

I am sorry to begin with if this is long but I have to vent to someone! My last post was a couple months ago. My future mother inlaw has to have something wrong with her! I think it all started when we moved in together. She would make frequent un-announced stops that were well out of her way just to start drama or to make mean jokes about my family. I wont bring up all that again, it was in my last post and thankfully I got through that hard time with everyone's help! Thanks sooo much again!
But now and over the past couple months, we have not spoken. Of course I went for Thanksgiving and Christmas and I was extremly nice and tried to talk to her... but I failed. My Christmas gift--dont get me wrong, I am not the kind of person to judge someone gift to me but she intentionaly hurt my feelings by getting my a pair of XL pj's from WalMart. I am a size 5! This is just the kind of person she is....

She has called my cell 2 times in the past 2 months. Once, I was in school and could not answer and here recently she called my phone when I was out to eat with my best friend that moved to Florida and was back for the holidays. I was not about to answer .. I knew why she was calling. Bryan wasnt answering his phone so she leaves me another crappy voicemail saying she needs to talk to her son NOW..
Why would I answer my cell when I know that she is only calling to yell at me for Bryan not talking to her. Its not my fault he cant stand her! I made him go over for Thanksgiving! He didnt even want to go but it is still MY fault ...some how!

Well one thing led to another and she just flips out totally! Calls us both liars and Bryan needs to move back home to be more taken care of. He does have servere asthma but he takes care of himself. HE IS NOT TWO! He is 20!!

Well we told her to quit calling and starting stuff between us and Bryan hung up....she called back...we didnt answer.. and she left yet another crappy voicemail....It went like this

I am the more important then some girl. I dont know why you are letting some girl get in between us. You need to move back home and start acting right. I will come up there! You better call me back...

We havent spoke to her since. It is her fault. She was sooo nice and now she is sooo mean and cruel! She is pushing her son away. She is on nerve meds and now I am seeing why!! I really hope this doesnt have some kind of effect on Bryan, he means so much to me and I know this hurts him when she does this!

Is it best to just stay away from her? He doesnt want anything to do with her..... I should stick by my man right? If this is what he wants...
What should we say to her? To not call anymore? Or tell her what she is doing is wrong... and then get her started up again..

I am trying to deal with this the best I can but we have both been sick, my mom has pneumonia and I dont know what to do anymore!

I could really use some help! Thanks

wow i'm so sorry you have to go through this. well i'm sure this has been difficult for you and bryan. sounds like this woman has some issues on having to finally cut the cord with her son and she seems like she would go to huge lengths to make him and everyone involved miserable in the process. this is a hard thing. i know it's his mother but geez she can't put a diaper on him now like you say he is 20 for goodness sake. sounds like she is the very controlling type. well the only thing i can suggest is that all ties would have to be cut with her. maybe you could block her incoming calls or even change your phone numbers(i know that sounds like a pain to do)i have a similar type of issue i deal with and thats with my hubbys ex wife. we have custody of my hubbys youngest son and i know she is his mother but we had to sever all ties with this woman due to the fact she was actually disrupting everyones life and causing much strain on our home life. we changed the number have a p.o. box for our mail and even have a report on file with the police just in case the harrasing gets too out of control. we just have to act like she doesn't even exsist anymore like we never met her. i know these things sound drastic but it has worked out well so far for us. you and bryan have your own lives now together and she has to simply accept this. well good luck with this and i wish i had some more input for you.......

She's not his wife; she's his mother! Geez, she treats him like a baby!

I know there are females that treat their sons that way... they treat them like they are husbands or something.
Some of them stay in their son's personal lives so badly, that some of the sons don't even have a life of their own. Their life is totally dominated and dictated by their mother.

If Bryan is ignoring his mother, then you do the same.
The lady is a nervous-wreck and obviously, not many people are being bothered with her.

Oh your soon to be mother-in-law sounds JUST LIKE my mother-in-law!! This may be long but I know what you are going through, I have delt with the same **** for 3 years now....

I am sorry to say but if she is anything like mine....it only gets worse. I got a size small pj's for xmas and I am a size 12 so if you want to trade just let me know!! I know exactly how you feel. I feel so bad for my husband when drama hits cause he is stuck right in the middle. One thing I have learned though and I will share this with you and please take it....Don't ever make him decide between you and his mom...he will only end up mad at you and it could ruin your relationship with your soon to be husband. I know this cause I told my husband (out of anger) that either he was going to make her happy or he was going to make me happy. His reply was why can't I just make both of you happy? So I told him that she would not be happy till we got a divorce and if he wanted to make her happy then we could just end it before we had kids. A couple of weeks later we were filling out the papers!! The next day when we were going to go sign them he changed his mind and we tried counseling....WE WEREN'T THE ONES WHO NEEDED THE COUNSELING.....IT WAS HER!!! But anyway...just don't make him choose. He sounds like he knows she is crazy and wants it ALL to be about her, so that is good. He will get to where if she cannot be good to you then he won't be good to her. GIRL....I HAVE LEARNED THAT IF THE IN-LAWS WANT SOME RESPECT THEN THEY NEED TO GIVE RESPECT TOO....SO TREAT OTHERS AS THEY TREAT YOU. I have been married for 2 1/2 years and have a 7 month old son, plus two packets of divorce papers filled out but never signed. After we had our son I told my husband the only way out now was if we killed each other....that hasn't happend yet!! We moved 200 miles away from his family so we could work on our marriage. When you get married you will find that if you love that person enough that they are worth fighting for than you will do everything in your power to keep you two together and your husband will learn that too, it just takes guys longer to realize what they need to do. One more thing I want to tell you though....DO NOT HAVE ANY KIDS TILL YOU KNOW THAT IT IS GOING TO WORK OUT BETWEEN YOU ALL. I know that you are marrying your man and not his family but some people just think that if you marry their son then you are marrying them too. It is so much harder when you have a kid. Let me know if I can be of anymore help....

It makes me feel soo much better knowing Im not the only one in this type of situation. I think the only thing we can do is stand by eachother and I guess try to ignore her! Thanks so much for giving me advice! Im sure ill keep in touch!!

Busygirl,

Just keep standing your ground and everything will be fine.
To all the ladies going through these situations (meddling MILs) just be encouraged. These "storms" (or hurricanes, typhoons -- battle ax, as some MILs are called) will blow over.

well we might just be related.LOL.
They are out there.
My mother in law is a pain in the bum,the thing that come on of her mouth just shock me for a grown women to act this way, my one will come in the house and say how you have put on weight, starts going throw our mail.
Tell's me my son acts badly because l feed him frozen food and it should be organic.
has to know what we buy and then gives us 50 question about it.
tells us what we should be eating.
mind you I am going to be 22 and my partner is going to be 26. She bring her dog over and it is so old it half blind and has trouble walking and tell my son off about leaving her dog alone when all he wants to do is play with it.
my son it 2 half.
then why bring the dog in the first place if she know that my son is like that with the dog.
My partner said that she is like this because she has no other family in Austraila and that they are all oversea and he is the only child.
So he feels sorry for her and l have to put up with it.