Thread: Is it me?

The one thing you stated that stood me up was he has no love for the child. She is an innocent little girl and will sense this. Are you willing to sacrifice her life to have a man? It kind of boils down to this. He sounds like he is way too devoted to his family who do not like you from the start. The family of the man are rough to get to know. You are stealing their little boy and you are much worse than the average woman. You were married and have a child and not what they expected this golden boy to have. She looks at you as used merchandise. You are not good enough for her little boy and she is not in a hurry to get to know you and help your relationship in any way......She may even try to hurt it...

He sounds like a loser. You are doing everything for him and even paying the bills. All this for having a man and hopefully a Father for your little girl. It is important that you love a man and even more important that this man love this little girl. She is the one with a life ahead of her. He does not sound like any role model. In fact just the opposite of what a Father should be. When you meet that right man he will love your baby as he loves you. Good men do this. After all your baby is you only just a little younger.

Dump him. It is more wonderful being alone and happy with that baby rather than being sad in a situation that you may wish you never had gotten into.....I wish you well.....C

How old are you?

I can completely see your point of view, however I'm going to give you the other side of the coin.

The idea of children on the whole terrifies men. They are the hugest responsibility in the world. It is not a decision to take lightly. You cannot really EXPECT another man to look after another mans baby, especially if you are still quite young. What man is going to decide to have that pressure at age 20 (guessing here). Your kid is yours, not his... I think it's optimistic to think that any average guy would move himself in as the father, and be everything you want him to be. Just like you have desires yourself, so do men. And walking into a massive commitment they did not choose is not one of them.

And I would share the concerns of his familiy. Hypothetically, if I had a son, who was going out with a girl who had a baby, I would be worried. He might wind up sacrificing his education, or career, or whatever for that baby, furthering someone elses bloodline, maybe being in a relationship where he wont even have his own children because there's already a family. It's also not very respectable or clever to have a child at a young age, so that would interfere with my ability to be glad about their relationship with my son.

I also don't think he has a responsibility to integrate you with his family. He's already probably causing problems with them simply be being with you.

He has his problems, I'm sure, I just don't think it's as easy as you'd like it to be to find a man to look after someone elses family..

Sorry.

I doubt it's you.
Some people have messed up families. It's nothing they can control; they just never got along with their parents for whatever reason and their parents aren't going to like ANYBODY.
And if that's the case, that he doesn't like his family, don't you think he's going to have hang-ups about a family of his own?
On a side-note, I wouldn't find it appropriate for another man, one who isn't a blood or legal relative, to kiss a little girl hello. Unless you live in a culture where kissing strangers hello is common, I just don't see it.
The bottom line is that you deserve to have what you want, and also that baggage isn't cute, nor is it your responsibility to deal with it.
So, if it's not you, and it's probably him, you have to decide what you're going to do. Caroline's right; your daughter deserves a step-father who is affectionate and loves her ... and Anon's right in that it's going to be hard to find a man who will be that stepfather.
Good luck.