Hi,

I'm hoping you can give an answer to my predicament and help me be at peace with myself.

I have been marrried for just over a year now. My husband's and my courtship lasted for a year during which we got engaged. He was working in Dubai and I was in India and ours was a long-distance relationship.

I always made a special effort to keep in touch with his married sister with his parents, brothers et al. who were all in India. They rarely reciprocated my gestures...it was like I had to call everytime...never once did they return my call...but they were all sweet to me when we spoke or met. I got this feeling that they thought themselves to be of a higher social standing than my family. It ****ed me at times but I kept quiet about it. I thought maybe they need some time to get adjusted to me being a part of their family.

I got married and came to Dubai with my husband. Since then, I have mailed my sister-in-law a couple of times and she has replied to my mails. But never has she made the first move to kepp in touch. It got quite frustrating.

Then she never called to wish me on my Birthday. I felt extremely upset about it as my sister-in-law has the memory of an elephant.!!

The next day my husband called to wish her for Easter and when I wished her, she wished me a belated Birthday. How that made my blood boil!!! So she had remembered but not made the effort to call me. She always struck me as being a miser but this was just the pits....I mean, it was my first Birthday after marriage and not even an email or ecard or sms....

Then, misfortune struck me and my husband. My husband got laid off from his job...he was even arrested as someone tried to frame him but we have proved his innocence since then....those were the darkest days of my life...I had a job that paid a meagre salary...I was all alone in a new country without the support of my husband and I knew no one....I knew my sister-in-law used to be online the whole day chatting with her husband who was in Holland...every single time, I initiated a chat conversation with her...then she would inquire if her brother was fine,.....not once about how I was managing..I had to swallow my pride and beg her to send ask her husband to send me some money .....

During that time, she never once spoke to me over the phone. Her father covered up for it saying that she could not muster the courage to talk to me as she'd burst into tears the minute she heard my voice...

Then a couple of months later, her husband came down from Holland to visit us. She didn't even have the courtesy to thank me for letting him stay with us...I mean, after all I was paying for most of the expenses....I did the very best to accommodate my brother-in-law...we saw to it that we provided him every comfort..My husband was still out of a job...I was the sole breadwinner...I had a very tough job and a devil for a boss and I couldn't juggle both household chores and a job.. All I could do was cook after a long tiring day and my husband would clean up...but my house was still messy and my brother-in-law pointed this out and said it's my fault the house is in such a shabby state and that his wife does such a good job of keeping the house clean and in private, he told my husband he should reconsider his decision of staying married to me. I mean, imagine his nerve!!! I was trying to put food on the table and into his plate and this was how I was being paid back...I didn't mind my in-laws never appreciating my efforts, let alone acknowledge them....but this was just mean... (And there was this small incident- my sister-in-law had resumed relations with an ex of hers and her husband was so upset he wanted to file for divorce. At that time, my sister-in-law mailed and messaged me daily to talk her husband out of it. I begged him to think of his child and he was convinced ultimately..and this same man tried to ruin my marriage

I decided I had had enough. I decided not to keep in touch with my sister-in-law and her husband.

It was evident they were forced to wish me for my first wedding anniversary. Two days later was New Years. They spoke to my husband but didn't wish me.

About a week ago, my sister-in-law migrated to Holland with her kid. My husband called them to wish them a good life. And he thrust the phone in my hand so that I could speak to her. Imagine the nerve of that woman to say O I'm surprised, do you remember me?

I don't know what her problem is....whether she thinks she's one up on me as she has migrated to a European country or because she has a kid while I don't or if she feels insecure cuz I am a careerwoman...The Bible says forgive and forget and I have tried doing that..no good comes out of it...........do you think I should let her treat me like a doormat and I should keep sucking up to her?


Please let me know.

Thanks