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Geez - this is a complicated scenario to follow. My husband Owns/Runs his Family Business. (It belongs to his father, mother & him) My husband & I have been married 5+ years. We're both around 50 yrs. old. ***This is His FIRST marriage*** His Father is deceased. He has an older, married Brother (who is now deceased) and an older Sister. She is the Oldest of the three - she's pushing 60... & is literally,the Queen Bee, in their family. She's married and has 2 Grown, Adult children. Her daughter, (his niece) who is 30, has been living with His Mom for ten years (since his Father passed away). His Mom has always done the bookwork and all the administrative end (25+ yrs) of their (his dad & his) business., out of her home. Her home actually belongs to her and my husband, equally. Mom is still pretty healthy, but has had some medical issues - she's still quite able. Queen Bee, nor his brother were ever part of their business. Both lived away and pursued their own careers/family, etc. Until now. Queen Bee has basically moved in with his Mom over the past year and a half. She's still married; her husband lives 300 miles away, but she relocated job-wise, (thanks to the computer age), & works mostly from Mom's home via the computer. "Supposedly", she stays there/lives there to care for Mom, but she had already been staying there about 4 days a week, during the year before. Queen Bee had always catered to and hovered over her little brother/aka my husband. She was NOT happy when she found out we got married. (We were married in Las Vegas, 5 yrs ago) In fact, she RAN Up the Stairs (at his mother's house) crying, almost hysterically, when she Saw him the first time after we got back. All she could say about her actions was, "I Just NEVER Thought You'd Get MARRIED!" She was Cold towards me, nearly everytime we came in contact with each other. It was obvious that she felt threatened by me, and mostly, tried to Ignore me (like I didn't exist) during family gatherings. She's made snide remarks to me (when no one is around) But she really started Pouring on the Sisterly Love towards my husband, in no small measure. Waiting on him, buying him gifts, calling him all the time. (always on his cell phone - NEVER at our home). Queen Bee always bought him clothes, but she also buys him jackets, boots, expensive hand-made wallets, expensive pocket knives, a hand-tooled leather gun case, monogrammed shirts......etc. To put it mildly, his closet is packed to the brim. I, of course, buy him clothes and everything else a wife buys her husband.By the way, Queen Bee has the history of running off any Woman who has entered into ANY of the Men in this family's lives. She despised/despises her Other sister-in-law (her deceased brother's wife) - they do not speak to each other. She was nasty & criticized & humiliated her Son's fiance (plus, threatened to cut him out of her will, if he married her) - they of course, are no longer a couple. All the while, she portrays herself as the loving, caring, concerned mom/sister/person, to her Family. Queen Bee is always the control center of every Family Gathering. She decides what & when, and how. She calls my husband with the plans & he says, How Much;? He gives her the money for the Food, the Xmas Tree, and everything else. She decides she wants to buy a big gift for Mom, "from her & him", which "I" know nothing about. Then, to my surprise, she pulls the gift out at Xmas, or Mom's Birthday, after everyone's gifts have been opened. The card reads, FROM: Queen Bee and "XXX"(my Husband). (her husband's name or mine is not included)The "icing on the cake" was last weekend. During Xmas, SHE decided she wanted to give my husband a 50th Birthday Party. She mentioned it to me, then, and I said I thought it was a good idea. We haven't spoken since, and now 5 months later, she cornered me at his Mom's B.Day celebration, and said she needed to talk to me about his Surprise Party. I said, "What surprise party - Why wasn't I told about it?" She jumped back, with arms flying and said, "Well, because we haven't Planned anything, yet!"I told her that I wasn't sure about it. She snapped, " Well, You AGREED! At Christmas!"She is aware that some troubling business events have happened in the past four or five months, and my husband is under alot of stress. I had already mentioned "doing something" for his birthday to him, and he was adamant that he did not want Any type of party, not even just a couple of our friends to come over. When I told her this, she ignored me like I hadn't said a word. She continued to try to railroad me into going along with her plans. I also explained that I had made plans with a number of other women to go on a day-trip the day before his birthday, and didn't know what time I would be back. She could hardly contain herself. I felt like a trapped animal. Both his mom and his niece were standing there, too. All of them were in on the party idea & and here I was, standing in their way!Thank goodness, we were getting ready to leave when all this happened. (My husband was, of course, not in the room) I barely made it to the car before I broke down and started crying. I cried all the way home. My husband called his sister the next day and told her there would be No party and that she had caused me to cry, over it. She (the Victim, in her Own Mind) said she had cried, too. She told him that she has done everything in her power to bring us closer, and she just doesn't know what else to do. (That is a bunch of **** she & I Both know it.)If you can see the picture: His Mom, His Sister, His Niece ALL live under the same roof. He goes by there frequently, since his office is handled there. We Live an hour away. I feel I don't have a Chance in the middle of all these Hens.
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04-16-2008, 02:37 PM
Sister-in-law is QUEEN BEE
