Thread: Child Molestation

I work as a therapist with children and some of them have experience sexual abuse. It is my experience that kids don't just say this stuff and don't have the language or experience to make up these scenarios.

Information can be contaminated and misunderstood though if inexperienced workers, of which there are quite a few unfortunately, ask the child what is known in the prof. as 'leading questions'. An example would be 'so your sore down there, did someone hurt you there, was it uncle john?' children can sometimes argree as it is an adult in a possition of power asking the question.

Having said that though children should be believed as a starting point always. It is often very hard for them to tell and they usually have been threatened in some way not to. Such as; 'If you tell you will be taken away', or 'daddy will have to leave' or even violent threats 'I will kill your puppy'.

I am sorry for all of your experiences it is a terrible thing to happen. It touches so many peoples lives. Probably most people know someone that this has happened to.

Hope this has helped

tt

I was molested by my brother when i was a child. He started at about five and up till i was twelve is when it stop, just because i told my parents. When i was younger he always told me that what he was doing was ok. That it was normal and all his friends do it. Though he told me to not tell anyone. I went along with it no knowing what he was really doing to me. When i became older i had such guilt that i thought i was going to . I begin to learn about sex and that what my brother was doing was wrong. When i finally told my parents they did not believe me. They said I was making it up for attention. So i would not upset my family anymore, i just drop it and would not bring up again. If after telling my family what has happen my brother still had tried several more attempts. I was scared and hopeless. I begin to have thoughts to suicide. It was always brought up at the wrong times. Which sent me to hospital over three times. A little over seven months ago it was brought up again. This time i said i had to stand up for it. Again my family did not believe me. To make it worse my brother just had a baby and wants nothing to do with me so i am always not aSK to go to family events. I feel so hopeless and a disappoint in my family. I just have no idea what to do anymore.

I know that for me it was more or less something that happened, I was molested by my next door neighbors two sons one was 17 and the other was my age, I was molested between the ages of 4 to 7. Its possible to move on and have a normal life, it really depends on whether or not its aknowledged that the molestation did occur, because for me and my family it never was until a few years ago. It made me resent and blame myself. I would certainly say that things should be kept as normal as possible for the victim but when they are ready to talk about dont discourage it and be ready to send them to counseling. Watch for sings later on in life as well, I know for me I was extremely depressed when I had memories surface and began to resent myself and self mutilate, and things like that. Just keep an open mind in reguards to the child, keep a watchful eye, and show compassion. In regaurds to what may have caused the boy to do something like that goes back to what my family believes, is that it may have happened to him, but it still does not justify it in the least.

All I can say hope is for people to listen to their kids. If they don't want to give someone a hug - don't make them. Dont force them to give physical affection EVER if they don't want to. Even forcing that kiss to granny or auntie louise sends the wrong message that when someone wants touches/affections and you don't want to give them, you should anyway. Also sometimes a kid wont say when someone has made them uncomfortable and forcing them to go give a hug etc can really mix up and make them so confused.

I can remember, being about 7, my abuser, who had been abusing me for as long back as I can remember , sitting in the living room, calling for me to go sit on his lap, I haven't said hello to him yet etc. I remember not wanting to go in there, I knew what was coming, what always happened on those lap visits. My aunt in the kitchen telling me go on , go say hi don't be rude. Ugh. She had no idea. No one did at that point.

I never wanted to tell, I was too ashamed. We didn't talk about our bodies in our house. I couldnt beging to figure out how to explain what he was doing to me without having to say "dirty words" so I didn't, for so long. I rather endured what he put me through than say the embarassing words. Finally I did it, I told. I was not believed, they asked me when it happened, when I told them all the time they said no, why wouldnt you have said, why would you let it go on so long? All my fears coming true in that moment. I was so worried that they would think I liked it or was bad. They told me, this is going to cause nothing but problems to bring up now.

We swept it under the rug. I didn't have to see him ever again though, at least that much they did for me. He was never confronted, he went on to live out his days until he died natural causes many years later. All the while comfortable and protected, because it was just too much trouble.