Anon-
Do I like 25? I'll take that as a compliment and the nicest thing you've ever said. Ever. And I won't say that to my dad because he'll just deny it. "He's always right."

CW-
That all sounds good, but I'm my mother's only child (father's 4th) and I'm scared to leave her by herself. My parents are old (59 and 66) and they're both wearing down a bit, but I do care about my mother more than my father. Only because I love her and she does pay for my way in life and puts me in front of EVERYTHING. Him on the other hand, not so.
I wouldn't mind moving out, but I have everything calculated in my life that I can't. Like I said, my mother pays my way. My tuition is high (13k/year) and next year in college, it'll be ever higher. The two schools I want to go to are about 22k a year and I don't want to take out loans and be stuck in debt for the rest of my life. Hitting 45 and still paying college loans is not cool. Plus, my mother wouldn't let me work, let alone move out. I can't work because I have school to concentrate on and I can't move out for obvious reasons.
I can't live with grandparents because one of my grandfathers is dead, the other one is about to die, one grandmother in Barbados, and the other in North Carolina and she needs someone to take care of her and I live all the way in Connecticut.
I'm spending some time with my aunt and uncle in VA Beach for two weeks, but I can't live with them. They've free spirits and there is a reason they've never had kids.

Plus... I'm not ready to leave the nest, yet.

Well, i'm going to say two things....

1) Then give him what for when he's being a ................. Keep it in your pants or in the bedroom Dad.

2) Your goals are really high, not a bad thing, but Mum's paying for it all, as your her only child and obviously that is where all her love is going, onto you, and she won't let you get a part time job?

Get one. Lots of people study and hard, and work part time jobs. Don't get firstly stuck in the situation that your Mother has given you everything in your life, so you expect the same from the men in your life and can't stand on your own two feet AND, sorry, but Mum's are Mums she's one of a giver but whilst she's giving to you, what is she giving to herself? Satisfaction of helping her baby? Get a part time job and give her the money for household food/expenses and tell her you want to work for some independance and to learn the outside world in preperation for later in life as frankly you do...

You need to give back to her now, your old enough and you need to also stand on your own two feet and start learning that part of life, finances, it will do you good as well.

And, don't come back and shoot me either, because the above is reality.

I bet, she sees a dress she wants and says i can't because i have to save the $12k, for my daughter...

Things we don't think about hey... We assume.... Don't assume, she needs your help and you need to learn what it's like in the big wide world as well...

CW

I already posted that she won't let me get a part-time job. She said that I could get one over the summer, but out summers are always so busy that I can't and she definitely won't let me work during the school week. I have at least 5 hours of homework a night and I'll have the stress of college applications. I begged her for a job, but she said it would be too much.

And I do give back to my mother every chance I get. Whenever we go out for dinner I pay. I buy clothes for her. I've tried helping her clean her room, but I'm not much of a cleaning myself.

And one more thing, I don't depend on any man for what I want just because I depend on my mother. That's a horrible assumption.

I can see I made myself sound like a little brat. Not the way I wanted to go about it.

Ravsoma, not to be rude, but it seems like you don't really want advice. You need to straight up tell you father that he needs to do that in the privacy of his own room. If he won't then you need to start looking at ways to support yourself and get out of the situation. If neither of those are a possibility for you then you just need to live with it.

Whether you meant to or not, you posed another question...by proclaiming the love for your mother because she spends $250 a week on your education.. But "the school YOU want to go to is $22k and that YOU do not want to be my age with a debt for a scholarship?

You are showing signs of being a "brat" simple. I knew by writing what i wrote that you would disagree... And, it was advice that you chose not to listen to, rather defend your actions.

You even helped her clean her room "once" and that's it because you don't like cleaning?

Does she do all the cooking to? Washing? Ironing? Pay for the computer your using?

She said you can have a Summer Job but you can't because they are always busy? She said you could?

Just saying your happy to set your sights high, have everything your way, increase her debt to $500 a week, but no you won't get a loan, why should you go into debt until your 45? WT?

Sorry, but you need someone to shake you up a bit i think....

Everything is about your needs... And, you'll give a little, just a little but not equal..

Life is about equality, in my "opinion".....

I'm not having a go at you persay, that is not my intention but you really need to start smelling the roses more.

What ever you buy her is with limited funds, where those funds come from? Government? Your not working...

She is sacrificing her life for you, she has put her life on hold for you, every penny is going towards you, so what she says you cant get a job, homework, you can babysit for 2 hrs three times a week, and give her that money...

Sorry, i just don't see what you see....

I see you are a 10% giver and a 90% wants person.

As for your Dad? You have not replied to anyone with thanks i never thought of doing that, or yes, i should tell him that..

????

CW

One thing, if I had a scholarship I wouldn't be in debt. Also, my mother doesn't pay $250 a week. She pays it all at once. And I guess I like being a brat because it happens to be the only thing I'm good at. I can't tell my father to back away from watching porn while I'm in the room and I can't move out because my mother won't hear a thing about that until I graduate from high school.
I talked to her about moving out because of the house situation and she told me no. I just asked her about getting a job and she said no to that, too. And it's not like I'm gonna run away from home and live my own life anytime soon.

No one cleans a room because they don't like to. I cleaned it because I felt like it. And it was multiple times, not once.

Fact: My mother doesn't do a thing. My father and I cook (because my mother doesn't know how to), wash and iron her clothes, and I paid for my own computer two years back when I was saving up money for one. Of course, the computer's in her name, but it was paid with my money. She doesn't even drive herself anywhere. I chauffeur her wherever she has to go and I don't mind because I like driving my mother around. What else are you gonna "assume" that she does around the house?

The money that I spend on her comes from savings that I've had since I was a child. Back then I used to be frugal, but not so much now. Also, I had a job last summer and I still have money from that as well.

Also, (this is not an excuse) I've been banned from babysitting because... I don't get along well with children.


As for your Dad? You have not replied to anyone with thanks i never thought of doing that, or yes, i should tell him that.. That's because I have thought of doing that and I have told him that, but it goes to . Like I said, he's always right. If I tell him to stop, he'll tell me he's not doing anything. If I catch him watching porn he tells me I'm seeing things. I thought someone here might have a better solution for me until I did go to college and didn't have to deal with him.

I'm through. I'll deal with my father watching his porn than listen to some people batting and beat me up over something I can't help. Thanks, but no thanks.

I'm pretty sure that my first reply in the thread was to limit your time in the room when he is around. If you are on the computer and he comes in and turns the TV on, get up and go outside and go for a walk, go into your room, etc. If you can't stop him from doing it the only thing you can control is yourself. So get up and leave when he turns the TV on, no matter what he's watching.