My [newly] single mother.

**Franny&Zooey** · 06-13-2008 12:13 AM

My parents just recently got divorced. By recent, I mean the papers were signed just two weeks ago (however, by NC law you must be seperated for a year before a divorce). It wasn't sudden, they've been drifting apart for sometime now. My mother just informed me that if it wasn't for us, my sister and I, then she would have left him a long time ago. Now, 21 years later, she's single.

My father has moved to Florida, so he's out of the picture, except for the occasional phone calls. My mother confessed to me that she doesn't want to be alone because she's felt alone for so long. She needs at least a male companion/friend, not necessarily a relationship. What can I do to help? I've given her suggestions on simple things like wardrobe, telling her, "She's on the market now!", but how can I actually get her out there? Is a dating site too much? Is there such a thing as a "friendship site"? Just interested in some opinions, for me, or her, thanks.

C · 06-14-2008 08:42 PM

I am so sorry about your Mom..I guess I relate to her sadness more than your Dad's...Hers is both an awakening to the new woman in herself and the difficult job of truly letting herself free....She is a new woman and all these years she has kept herself hidden, are now to be let free....I am sure you will be of much help along this line...

Church groups are great places to meet eligible men...Not necessarily your church but move on to another if you do not find what you are seeking there...Sometimes charity work at a hospital but mostly getting out and around...Building confidence in herself is her main agenda at this time...I have heard of some nice dating sites in the US...Many are very reputable...I know Dr. Phil had one. A woman had written me and asked me about this...I looked and was very impressed by it....This showed your picture, age and other things pertaining to the person. A person is not able to find more about you unless you want them to...Each step is a new beginning and each day another new adventure....

I hope that everything turns out well for her...Tell her to just take one step at a time...She is still very young and there are many wonderful men out there hoping to find a woman like her...Tell her a man's looks are not everything...Actually they are skin deep...Some of the most wonderful and charming men are not great looking but what is beneath the skin is a joy to behold...Don't rule out a younger or older man...Be open minded....Here I am telling you all these things that I do not know, but at least I have tried..

Take care and much luck to both you and her, Caroline

**Franny&Zooey** · 06-14-2008 09:00 PM

Thanks for your reply! I feel like I understand my mother more, because I'm trying to build up her self-esteem, like she did with me growing up. I've gotten her out of the house to a Church League Softball game, which was nice. We're actually doing that again Monday. We live in a very small, redneck town, so it makes it more difficult. Too bad I'm not single or I'd just tell her we can "prowl" together

. I'll try mentioning some websites to her, but it may take persuasion. She feels too old for that sort of things. I guess we'll just do what we can and let what happens, happens.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-14-2008 09:08 PM

Tell her i said, your never too old

I'm 45 in a few days, that aint old... So, i'm guessing she not much of that mark.

My-Space is friends only... i have a few and it's great to say hi.

RSVP - is a dating site, world wide, she doesn't have to put her real name, nor a photo, so she can at least have fun flirting hey, to get used to it all again.

I think your right with the wardrobe, self esteme bit, the above will add, she's private no one knows who she is...

Paint her nails, toe nails, tell hubby your both going out for tea on your own once a fortnight, and a drink after for a couple of months to help her get back into the scene.

It is scary to start with, i started 12 months ago after 7 and a half years... Not necessarily easy.

Maybe even get her to get some streaks in her hair, change it slightly so she feels different about herself.

Lots go through it, and often once we get going, it's nice to be us again..

She has all of what she missed to catch up on, time to get moving.

and enjoying herself...

CW

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-14-2008 11:30 PM

Caroline
Some of the most wonderful and charming men are not great looking but what is beneath the skin is a joy to behold...Don't rule out a younger or older man...Be open minded....Here I am telling you all these things that I do not know, but at least I have tried..

Being married for too long will do that to you.

But, you happen to be very wise with that reply, if your Mum does dable in the internet,( and remembering she's anonymous ) "as i did", you'd be suprised at the one whom turn out to be the best, verses what you would have looked for on your "wish list"...

CW

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