I've always had a great relationship with my mom, so I can't completely relate, but maybe I can share a bit about our relationship and see if there's anything my mom did that you can do.

I have three older sisters, so it was all estrogen, all the time in our house. Lol. None of us were very close to my dad, except me a bit once it was just me and my parents alone in the house when the others had moved out. Anyway, my mom was always so communicative. No conversations were really off limits in our house. We talked about politics, education, religion, menstruation, having babies, etc. I don't know if you do this, but if you don't, maybe try just having conversations with your daughter about anything and everything. Watch the news together and start talking about what you think about a certain story, and see if she has any opinions herself. Talk about the things you see going wrong in today's education system and see if she feels anything about it (or whatever issue you might be interested in). My parents talked to us all like we were adults from the time we were very young. 11 is not too young to have serious conversations. I've always felt smarter and more able to think critically than my peers because my parents never talked down to me. Talk to her about your experiences growing up: menstruation, having boyfriends, dealing with problems among your girlfriends and your siblings, etc. If she's 11 she's probably either menstruating already or getting ready to start in the next year or so and she will want to be prepared! With three older sisters and a really open mom I was ready and waiting by the time my period arrived. (I must admit though, my sisters and my mom said there was a 2 year time frame before I got my period in which I was a raging hormonal b*itch...so maybe your daughter is going through that? Heh)

Anyway, I guess just talking was the biggest thing in my house. Take a trip to the mall with her and chat about anything you want. Don't pressure her to tell you all about what's going on in her life but open up about your own and give advice without lecturing you know?

My mom and I aren't "best friends" and I don't really understand how those kind of mother-daughter relationships work, but there's a comfortable closeness and she's just my loving mom. Even if I don't talk to her for a while, I can still call her if I'm sick or stressed out and just cry to her about it.

Good luck.