Bought a new bikini

**Texinator** · 06-25-2011 02:05 PM

Chaya, you have to keep in mind that he comes from a very conservative upbringing and that will influence his opinion on many matters. For example, I remember you saying that he doesn't like giving oral sex, and there are religious beliefs that promote the idea that women's genitals are "unclean." That's fine if you share his views, but if you don't, then you have to keep that in mind when asking for his opinion.

What it comes down to is that you bought the bikini because you liked it. That's all that matters. It's your body, you're free to do with it what you want.

**chaya** · 06-25-2011 02:43 PM

Originally Posted by Beautiful Disaster

There is a difference between giving an opinion and controlling.

A spouse should never dictate what their spouse does and doesn't wear. Do you tell your husband what to wear? What styles? My guess is that you don't, because you think it would be disrespectful of him. You'd be right. So why isn't it disrespectful of you?

If truth is what you want from him, the truth would've gone as follows: "Hey honey, how do you like my new bikini? I love it!", "Wow babe, you look so hot in it. I'm afraid all the guys will stare at you and it will make me jealous!".

You said yourself the bikini was conservative. They are worn internationally. You liked it enough to buy it. So why does what he wants and what he thinks override what you want and think 100% of the time?? I'm afraid you will lose your indentity trying to please your husband, and no, I don't think that's your place in life or any womans for that matter.

I was taught to please my husband and support him in whatever he wants to do. Yes, what he wants and thinks does override what I want. I should not want anything that would go against his wishes. It would not be my place to tell him what to wear but it would be his to tell me what he thinks is improper for me to ware. By doing so, he is respecting me and I respect his right to do so.

He would never, ever say anything like "wow babe, you look so hot..." even though I hope he thinks so. He is just too shy to say that, it is not his way.

When my sister put the bikini on, it didn't look that conservative, of course she fills it out more than I did.

**Texinator** · 06-25-2011 03:03 PM

Shouldn't marriage be a partnership? No disrespect intended, but the way you describe your thoughts, it sounds more like ownership, that the husband owns the woman and tells her what to say, think, and do.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-25-2011 03:05 PM

It's a claim of ownership, nothing to do with how it fitted you in fact, it must have fitted you nicely, if you think about it, because the whole thought pattern in his mind was "not" wanting other men to see you as you, rather covered to a degree and you said, your sister's would have been skimpier, well you will be sitting, walking, standing, swimming with your sister and your sister likes to flirt a little so he is also protecting you as a cop in my opinion, whilst he can't be around, means he has visualisation hopefully....You should have said, well I'll keep it, wear it around the house when you are home

But, ultimately I do agree that we should be free in our choices, but if someone makes sense in a statement that may create problems then we should consider that .....