Bought a new bikini

**chaya** · 06-23-2011 12:03 PM

Yesterday I bought a new bikini swim suit in anticipation of spending a lot of time at the beach with my sister. Last night I tried it on for my husband, when I asked him how he liked it he said not very much. He said it was too revealing. I thought it was because I have some unsightly scars on my lower abdomen that weren't covered up but that wasn't it. He thought I should wear a one piece suit because bikini's showed too much of my body.

It is a conservative bikini, not the skimpy type that my sister wears. If he thinks mine is too revealing, wait until he sees my sister in hers. Anyway, I'll try to return it and get a one piece.

**Seeker_Advice** · 06-23-2011 02:53 PM

Keep it! You asked his opinion, not if you should keep it. I understand that you want to repsect and value your husband's opinion, having read many of your posts in here, and I get that. But you live in California, you're going to be wearing it to get some sun with your sister, so what's the big deal?

Not that it should matter, but will you be laying out in the privacy of your backyards? On a public beach? Around a heavily populated pool?

If you've got the bod for a two piece suit and you feel good in it, I say keep it.

Let your husband appreciate your beauty in a two piece suit and understand that it makes you feel good.

**jns** · 06-23-2011 06:16 PM

One piece suits can be quite revealing, too. If you are going to body surf, make sure you get something that won't be pulled off by the waves.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 06-24-2011 06:43 AM

Revealing of what? Your stomach? That's sort of what bikini's are.

Keep your bikini. Wear it proudly.

**ItsASecret** · 06-24-2011 07:25 AM

I never liked bikinis that much. I am not one for wearing close to nothing when it comes to any sort of clothes but you do get used to it. The first day out may be kind of awkward but after that you will get used to the feeling. Nothing to worry about they are meant to show skin, the only thing that looks funny after is tan lines but that can be fixed easily with some tanning oil or the tanning sunscreen.

**Hopeless Dork** · 06-25-2011 11:01 AM

Your husband committed a husband faux paus... he's sOOO lucky to have YOU. lol. When a woman BUYS something , she LIKES IT, she likes how it looks... when she asks the man in her life what HE thinks... she's not asking him what he thinks... she's asking him for reassurance that she had good taste, that she's as beautiful in this item as she hoped she'd be. Going 'hrrrmf, nahh I don't like it' is a noob move, I take it you guys havne't been married long? If he's one of those guys that doesn't know how to bite his tongue to keep you happy, you'll just have to grow some thicker skinner and hold tighter to your own opinions. You bought the suit cause you liked it, you wouldn't have otherwise.... so keep it, wear it, and let him grumble

**chaya** · 06-25-2011 11:35 AM

I settled the bikini issue, I gave it to my sister. It looks a lot better on her than me anyway. She has more curves in the right places than I do. My hubby hasn't seen her in it yet, I can't wait to see his face when he does.

We have been married about 7 months. When I ask his opinion I will always appreciate his complete honesty. I know that's not what most women would want, but I would rather hear the truth than some patronizing untruth (even if it hurts.) There is one exception to this, once I spent all afternoon fixing him a special dinner. I asked him how he liked it and he told me the truth, it made me cry.

**Hopeless Dork** · 06-25-2011 12:35 PM

Originally Posted by chaya

There is one exception to this, once I spent all afternoon fixing him a special dinner. I asked him how he liked it and he told me the truth, it made me cry.

Thats the thing, it depends on your weak spot. For most women its their bodies, for many its their intelligence, their cooking skills, their parenting, etc... there is always a weak spot women posess... men know their women well enough to know what it is. Honesty is key in a good relationship... but there is a difference , really there is, when it comes down to hurting someones feelings... and its important to toe the line between brutal honesty and saying things in a way that is genuine, but kind.

**chaya** · 06-25-2011 01:32 PM

Is he supposed to find my weak spot, then lie to me so he won't hurt my feelings? It would be good intentions on his part but if I found out I would be hurt worst than if he had told the truth. I would still rather he always be truthful with me even if it hurts. I have a lot of weak spots but I can usually hide my feelings when I'm hurt.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 06-25-2011 01:55 PM

There is a difference between giving an opinion and controlling.

A spouse should never dictate what their spouse does and doesn't wear. Do you tell your husband what to wear? What styles? My guess is that you don't, because you think it would be disrespectful of him. You'd be right. So why isn't it disrespectful of you?

If truth is what you want from him, the truth would've gone as follows: "Hey honey, how do you like my new bikini? I love it!", "Wow babe, you look so hot in it. I'm afraid all the guys will stare at you and it will make me jealous!".

You said yourself the bikini was conservative. They are worn internationally. You liked it enough to buy it. So why does what he wants and what he thinks override what you want and think 100% of the time?? I'm afraid you will lose your indentity trying to please your husband, and no, I don't think that's your place in life or any womans for that matter.