Help me motivate my wife to exercise and eat better

**Beautiful Disaster** · 05-02-2011 05:28 PM

Take a look at the age of the children. 36 months, 18 months, and 4 months. So out of 46 mths, she's been growing a human being inside of her for 27 of them. Aside from being pregnant, she is spending her days taking care of babies. She's exhausted, hormonal, her body is still out of whack, AND she's been prescribed depression meds.

Fortunately, the OP seems to be genuinely concerned about his wifes health, and not just her "staying hot for him".

**LanaBear** · 05-02-2011 05:32 PM

Originally Posted by Mighty Grasshopper

dude..i understand where you're coming from. Call me a pig, but if i marry a hot wife, i'd expect her to stay hot. I would do the same for her. Same goes - if i work hard to have nice living, and take her out to dates, etc., she should expect me to keep that up and that would be something i'd strive for and maintain.

yes she's busy. yes she's got kids. yes, he's got to help. but i'm just saying, as a guy, we would like to be attracted to our wife. and if she's let herself go, as shallow as it may sound, it's hard to want to get intimate. it's just the reality of the beast.

same reason why ladies get turned off by their hubby's when they lose their job or hit a down point in their life and they lose that 'confidence' and 'leadership' attitude that they fell in love with..

So... as a relationship evolves, wouldn't you be attracted to more than just her looks? I mean, I'd hope you were attracted to more than her looks before a relationship evolved. I agree that there is a point, but your response leaves no room for "what ifs" or certain things that inevitably happen in life.

Having been married for almost 14 years, having had a tremendous weight gain and having lost said weight gain and then some, I'm glad my husband didn't see things the way you did, that I should have lived my life to "stay hot for him". My husband loved me for me and always has. What hurt him more was that I didn't feel the same way about myself that he did but he stuck with me through everything. I am the mother of his children and to him that far exceeds what may have happened to my body. Like I said, I have since lost a lot of weight but even now he tells me he loved me just the same but he's happy because I'm happier with myself.

**LanaBear** · 05-02-2011 05:34 PM

Originally Posted by WildChild

*Wanders away shaking head, muttering, "3 babies in 4 years, the last delivery 4 months ago ..."*

*Wanders away with WC muttering "AND she's supposed to look hot"... *sigh**

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-02-2011 06:16 PM

dude..i understand where you're coming from. Call me a pig, but if i marry a hot wife, i'd expect her to stay hot. I would do the same for her. Same goes - if i work hard to have nice living, and take her out to dates, etc., she should expect me to keep that up and that would be something i'd strive for and maintain.

yes she's busy. yes she's got kids. yes, he's got to help. but i'm just saying, as a guy, we would like to be attracted to our wife. and if she's let herself go, as shallow as it may sound, it's hard to want to get intimate. it's just the reality of the beast.

same reason why ladies get turned off by their hubby's when they lose their job or hit a down point in their life and they lose that 'confidence' and 'leadership' attitude that they fell in love with..

Disects Grasshopper leg by leg.......

Ouch seriously? If that is why the woman married her man, you know cause he oozed confidence and leadership then I am sad for her.. You stick by your partner when the chips are down and you encourage them.....

PIG - does not necessarily equate to Pretty Intellegent Guy. Again because that's materialistic, you look good on my arm babe, you are my handbag. That is the interpretation you suggest when posting what you did.

And, if you want to be attracted to your wife, what do you do? Help her overcome having 3 kids, at her feet every day and help her get off the medication which is depressing her and allowing her to have no energy interest in herself and how? By being there, loving her and still making her feel beautiful so she doesn't go to the bottom line of depression.

Because she is....INSIDE & OUT or you wouldn't marry her would you?

**Hopeless Dork** · 05-02-2011 09:04 PM

3 babies in 4 years...I have to agree with the others, my GOODNESS. She's never even had the TIME between babies to get herself back into shape its been bam, bam, bam... then staying home taking care of them all... trust this: if you were to stay home 1 week... and take care of those 3 babies by yourself you'd be BEGGING to work a 12 hour day digging a ditch in the hot son over that.. truly. lol.

Watching yous sweat to the oldies while she is trying to unwind is NOT going to promote her to get fit, its going to probably promote some resentment as in... you leave the house EARLY to be gone for time at the gym, then you work all day outside of the home... then you want to spend some more time on yourself doing dvd workouts when you get home?

What would motivate her more than watching you work out is if you came home and ran her a bath and said hunnie you go take a nap, relax... I got the kids for the night - a few nights a week. Letting her have time to herself will allow her to remember that she is important to. Right now her whole life is centered around being mom while you are working out, working... etc.. So when she finally gets a minute she wants to veg out and numb herself up with food. Not a good sign of her happiness.

She needs a break, she needs some help with those kids, she needs a couple of afternoons off to spend going for a walk, or get her hair done, etc... once she is taking time for herself, remembering she is more than just mom, she is also a woman... she will care more about her health and appearance.

**Mighty Grasshopper** · 05-04-2011 02:09 PM

Okay I admit I did not catch the 4 month old baby so that I understand.

My point applies more to the wives or husbands who believe that they can let themselves go once they are married and or have kids. That I do not agree with.

I think the husband and wife should make an effort to look good for each other in addition to themselves regardless of whther the other person loves them beyond physical appearances. Of course marriage is deeper than physical looks. I just wanted to bring up the point that certain people (myself included) do value looks just like how others may value career or ethics or religion etc in addition to all the good traits we love about our partners.

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