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December 2016 Poster of the Month

Congratulations to WH member amy40 for being selected our WH Poster of the Month! We appreciate you and are so glad you are here!

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husband wants me to have sex with black lover

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  • #16
    I understand the subjectivity behind it, but westernized people don't have huge defiations in who they find beautiful. Sorry, but I know what I saw and not many would disagree. I also never met anyone that ended up with their childhood friend.
    "Are you serious? You're bleeping THAT girl?" - jen1447

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Something_Awesome View Post
      I understand the subjectivity behind it, but westernized people don't have huge defiations in who they find beautiful. Sorry, but I know what I saw and not many would disagree. I also never met anyone that ended up with their childhood friend.
      We had another poster a while back with a similar view. He felt like there was at least an objective North American standard. In my experience it doesn't exist. There's a thread on here where he cites a few women that are the most beautiful that I think are average. There's a celebrity crush thread where you can see the vast differences in what people do an do not like.

      Also plenty of people end up with childhood sweethearts. Depending on how you define childhood, I did (although we were almost legally adults). Unlike past girlfriends, my wife was not immediately attractive to me. I don't think she found me attractive either. It was our friendship, shared experience, and personalities that caused the attraction to bloom.
      "Those sowing seed with tears
      Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

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      • #18
        I am really replying to both Jen and Karen and your questions from the perspective of a healthy relationship, which is what we all want right?

        Karen, your husband of 20 years has planted a seed in your head that has turned into a tree. At this point you will go through with it. Question is whether or not your husband should be in the room when it happens. You may think about it a lot, but it's not something you can involve a 3rd party in lightly.

        You said:


        Hi I'm Karen I've been with my husband for over 20 years I was shocked when he told me he had a fetish that he would like to see me have sex with a younger black man and told me lots of couples do it and it good to spice up a relationship I was a bit confused at first but after a good long chat with him I was starting to get aroused by it I do look at hot black men has anyone else done this and if so did it work or split the relationship up.

        Think about your reaction that he wants to see that. As a fetish that fits what he wants to see. Your husband backs this up with "lots of couples do it." As someone who cares about him, you entertain the thought. It shocks you that being faithful to him suddenly is becoming complex.

        The simple answer is to stop worrying so about what he wants to see. It has to be about what you want to see. It was his idea. You have to test it out, and it comes down to whether you'll feel entirely comfortable with him there and watching -- this man you thought you knew! Guess what! It's more important to know yourself right now! Trust me, he'll still be aroused by his fetish should you come to the conclusion that he should be there.

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        • #19
          My wife and I had been married for 22 years and she confessed the desire to have sex with a black male co-worker. I was stunned but after discussing the issue and where we both stood, we opted for an open relationship. Although we never discussed if she actually satisfied her desire, intuitively, I think she did. We have continued together in the same open relationship and we both agree that it is healthier.

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