I think I need to see someone but don't know where to start. - Page 2

**WildChild** · 10-20-2009, 07:34 AM

Sally !!! You have to stop this. You didn't end up in the hospital again did you? This doesn't help anything. We some ladies here who have stopped, you can too. Get some help and stick with it sweetie.

**Tex** · 10-20-2009, 11:29 AM

Why cut them, Sally? Why cut yourself at all? Is it a form of self-punishment, like you hate your breasts because you think they are too small and so you need to punish them?

**Miya** · 10-20-2009, 12:25 PM

Sally,

You really do need to get SOME kind of help dear. There are other ways of dealing with whatever is wrong besides self-mutilation. I'm not intending to lecture or just offer empty words (though at times it seems like that's all we really have on the forum) but really do care when someone (ie YOU) have so much to offer but feel this compulsion to experience pain and relief. Please see someone.

What follows is information obtained from help guide for self

Quote:

Reasons for self-injury
Why do they do it?

Even though it is possible that a self-inflicted injury may result in death, self-injury is usually not suicidal behavior. The person who self-injures may not recognize the connection, but this act usually occurs after an overwhelming or distressing experience and is a result of not having learned how to identify or express difficult feelings in a healthy way. Sometimes the person who deliberately harms themselves thinks that if they feel the pain on the outside instead of feeling it on the inside, the injuries will be seen, which then perhaps gives them a fighting chance to heal. They may also believe that the wounds, which are now physical evidence, proves their emotional pain is real. Although the physical pain they experience may be the catalyst that releases the emotional pain, the relief they feel is temporary. These coping mechanisms in essence are faulty because the pain eventually returns without any permanent healing taking place.

Self-harm serves a function for the person who does it. If you can figure out what function the self-injury is serving then you can learn other ways to get those needs met which will reduce your desire to hurt yourself.

It is difficult to understand the motivations behind self-injurious behavior, but a clearer picture develops when you hear the common explanations self-injurers give for doing it:

* “It expresses emotional pain or feelings that I’m unable to put into words. It puts a punctuation mark on what I’m feeling on the inside!”
* “It’s a way to have control over my body because I can’t control anything else in my life”
* “I usually feel like I have a black hole in the pit of my stomach, at least if I feel pain it’s better than feeling nothing”
* I feel relieved and less anxious after I cut. The emotional pain slowly slips away into the physical pain”

Self-injury can regulate strong emotions. It can put a person who is at a high level of physiological arousal back to a baseline state.

Deliberate self-harm can distract from emotional pain and stop feelings of numbness.

Self-inflicted violence is a way to express things that cannot be put into words such as displaying anger, shocking others or seeking support and help.

Self-injurious behavior can exert a sense of control over your body if you feel powerless in other areas of your life. Sometimes magical thinking is involved and you may imagine that hurting yourself will prevent something worse from happening. Also, when you hurt yourself it influences the behavior of others and can manipulate people into feeling guilty, make them care, or make them go away.

Self punishment or self-hate may be involved. Some people who self-injure have a childhood history of physical, sexual and emotional abuse. They may erroneously blame themselves for having been abused, they may feel that they deserved it and are now punishing themselves because of self-hatred and low self-esteem.

Self-abuse can also be a self-soothing behavior for someone who does not have other means to calm intense emotions. Self-injury followed by tending to one’s own wounds is a way to express self-care and be self-nurturing for someone who never learned how to do that in a more direct way.

People who self-injure have some common traits:

* Expressions of anger were discouraged while growing up
* They have co-existing problems with obsessive-compulsive disorder, substance abuse or eating disorders
* They lack the necessary skills to express strong emotions in a healthy way
* Often times there is a limited social support network

**Tex** · 10-20-2009, 12:30 PM

Thanks Miya. Now I understand the cutting better.

**sallyskellington** · 10-20-2009, 02:55 PM

wild,
no I didn't need to wasen't that bad.

**sallyskellington** · 10-20-2009, 02:57 PM

tex,
kinda yeah just idk makes me feel better.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 10-20-2009, 04:44 PM

Sal..

Re-read Miya's text she located for you..

I understand it makes you feel better, others drink to feel that, for in-stance but all have a reason, physcologically, something that triggers the thought and the need to do it, to realise that.

You have to establish what, you do get angry sometimes, you don't like your body, but what about the positive things?

Change your thought pattern.

Remember your brand new car and how excited you felt?

What else makes you happy? Next time, as soon as you feel down, think of what it is that makes you happy even if it's stuffing your face with chocolate ice-cream, go to the freezer and get some, keep it always stored there.

Change the negative thing of cutting to a positive of something you like.. Change the thought pattern..

CW

**Tex** · 10-20-2009, 05:05 PM

Also how much emotional support have you gotten and are you getting from the people around you? Family? Friends? Husband?

**sallyskellington** · 10-20-2009, 05:27 PM

CW
positive things?
nothing makes me happy. Yeah was happy with my car but as with all things its now kinda meh and boring.
I have a very life stinks then you die attitude.

**sallyskellington** · 10-20-2009, 05:28 PM

tex,
we don't talk about such things. And as for husband he has made it clear my issues are mine not his.

10-20-2009, 07:34 AM	#11
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 6,232 Blog Entries: 5	Sally !!! You have to stop this. You didn't end up in the hospital again did you? This doesn't help anything. We some ladies here who have stopped, you can too. Get some help and stick with it sweetie. __________________ We can only learn to love by loving. Iris Mudoch, British writer

10-20-2009, 02:55 PM	#15
sallyskellington Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: long island NY Posts: 229 Blog Entries: 2	wild, no I didn't need to wasen't that bad. __________________

10-20-2009, 02:57 PM	#16
sallyskellington Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: long island NY Posts: 229 Blog Entries: 2	tex, kinda yeah just idk makes me feel better. __________________

10-20-2009, 04:44 PM	#17
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,958 Blog Entries: 7	Sal.. Re-read Miya's text she located for you.. I understand it makes you feel better, others drink to feel that, for in-stance but all have a reason, physcologically, something that triggers the thought and the need to do it, to realise that. You have to establish what, you do get angry sometimes, you don't like your body, but what about the positive things? Change your thought pattern. Remember your brand new car and how excited you felt? What else makes you happy? Next time, as soon as you feel down, think of what it is that makes you happy even if it's stuffing your face with chocolate ice-cream, go to the freezer and get some, keep it always stored there. Change the negative thing of cutting to a positive of something you like.. Change the thought pattern.. CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

10-20-2009, 05:27 PM	#19
sallyskellington Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: long island NY Posts: 229 Blog Entries: 2	CW positive things? nothing makes me happy. Yeah was happy with my car but as with all things its now kinda meh and boring. I have a very life stinks then you die attitude. __________________

10-20-2009, 11:29 AM	#12
Tex Gold Contributor 500+ Posts $Tex's Avatar$ Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 1,134	Why cut them, Sally? Why cut yourself at all? Is it a form of self-punishment, like you hate your breasts because you think they are too small and so you need to punish them?

10-20-2009, 12:30 PM	#14
Tex Gold Contributor 500+ Posts $Tex's Avatar$ Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 1,134	Thanks Miya. Now I understand the cutting better.

10-20-2009, 05:05 PM	#18
Tex Gold Contributor 500+ Posts $Tex's Avatar$ Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 1,134	Also how much emotional support have you gotten and are you getting from the people around you? Family? Friends? Husband?

10-20-2009, 05:28 PM	#20
sallyskellington Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: long island NY Posts: 229 Blog Entries: 2	tex, we don't talk about such things. And as for husband he has made it clear my issues are mine not his. __________________

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