ho to deal with a sick but ungrateful husband

**goodie1971** · 06-24-2010 12:34 PM

my husband has bells parlsy (facial nerve paralisis) we were all devasted when it happend, i have given him 1000% of attention, bent over backwards, given him a hand but no not him he wants an arm, i try not to get frastreted but its getting into me

i hear its stress related, but wonder how he can be shouting at me for no reasons after that he says sorry its one of the medication side eftect

he went to watch the world cup in south africa and for the past 4 days when he call he doesnt finsh wthout shouting at me, and its just for petty things and turns around and say im the cause of his stress thats why he is sick, am i going to be happy if he dies
hello------- i have been supporting you is this the thanks i get he is stressing himself more and i cant take the abuse, he is just shouting all the time he cant even hear what i say, he doesnt give me a chance to finish talking and he just jumps in and never gives me a chance to talk

everything i say is a lie how can i live with someone like that
please tell me

**LanaBear** · 06-24-2010 01:33 PM

What exactly is good about this relationship? Because in your other thread, he sounds very controlling and basically wants you to make a choice between your family and him.

What is keeping you in this relationship?

**goodie1971** · 06-24-2010 02:00 PM

Originally Posted by LanaBear

What exactly is good about this relationship? Because in your other thread, he sounds very controlling and basically wants you to make a choice between your family and him.

What is keeping you in this relationship?

nothing is good really nothing i feel you and im gratefull i am getting this reality check

**KMonte85** · 06-24-2010 02:18 PM

you have to decide what is best for you. From the outside, your current situation looks like a miserable existence and I don't know how you've stayed for so long. That takes a lot of strength.

You're husband is ill and in pain, but that is no justification for him to treat you so harshly, say terrible things, blame you for his disease, isolate you from your family. No one deserves that sort of treatment, but especially not the woman who is his wife and his caregiver. To me, that is unacceptable and I would have packed my bags and left a while ago.

I am not placing blame on you, at all, you have been a saint to this man from what I have read... but now, I have to ask, why are you allowing him to speak to you this way? He's on vacation and he calls up to scream at you, he yells at you all the time when he's home, and you've let him thus far. What are you going to do to improve your situation? How are you going to show him that he either treats with love, respect, and dignity, or you're leaving?