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Reply With QuoteI'm so sorry that that happened to you. Hugs. Have you sought out counseling?
No Way Out
He came into my life
when I was just a little girl
I was happy and young
And then he changed my world
One night I was in bed
And he came to say goodnight
except he took a little longer
before he turned out the light
He really hurt me that night
And I didn't know what to do
I thought it happened to most
well every little boy and girl
I lay in bed that night
Hurting inside and out
tears streaming down my face
I tried hard not to shout out
I put that tragic night
to the back of my head
playing games at school
there was nothing to be said
Some time had passed along
and then it happened again
My mom was not there then
it was him and me again
I was sat next to him
just watching the TV
when he pulled me close to him
and again molested me
I thought it only happened once
When I had done something bad
but now I knew I was wrong
I felt alone and sad
And 6 years on I got
the courage to tell someone
the police got involved and stuff
I was hated by some
so in the end it got too much
I gave up at that point
everything went back to normal
I swear I wish I'd died
I've told a couple of friends
but its hard for them you see
to put up with something as stupid
as a teenager like me
all I do is mope and cry
because no-one understands
what I feel inside each day
please someone take my hand
I cut myself sometimes
When the pain gets too much
I hate him for what he did
and where he used to touch
I often think I'll run away
or step into the road
my future seems so black and dim
I'm only 17 years old
I hope someone hears my cry
and says they understand
I just don't know what to do anymore
I'm scared and on my own
So you see I'm stuck forever
I just want to scream and shout
But there's something you have to know
That for me, there's no way out
I posted this poem because I think it can seriously help for those who have been abused and hopefully help to prevent child sexual abuse in the future. It took me six months to write and everything in it is true..
Last edited by jellybean93; 02-03-2011 at 07:33 PM.
The trauma of abuse is never fully gone from a person's consciousness. Its filthy stain leaves its residue on the soul forever.
I'm so sorry that that happened to you. Hugs. Have you sought out counseling?
I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
...
Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?
Patrick Henry
Ive been through years of counseling, I hated it. So, I write. That isn't my only poem. It's just the longest and took the most time by far.
The trauma of abuse is never fully gone from a person's consciousness. Its filthy stain leaves its residue on the soul forever.
Its good for you to get your feelings out.
Is your family supportive of you?
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
My family is very supportive of me. They are my blessing from heaven. Granted, my father still wont tell the truth, and I live with him, but my step-dad confessed when he was arrested and is in prison in Oh until Dec 14.
The trauma of abuse is never fully gone from a person's consciousness. Its filthy stain leaves its residue on the soul forever.
Both your father and step father molested you?
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
Yes, my father molested me when I was 6, and that was continuous until I was 9. My step-dad molested me when I was 10, which continued until I was 12.
The trauma of abuse is never fully gone from a person's consciousness. Its filthy stain leaves its residue on the soul forever.
Oh my. Is your mother in counseling too? She certainly did a poor job judging men. I can understand that this is hard to deal with but with years of counseling not doing much good, perhaps you need a different counselor or to try something different.
How is it that you still live with your father?
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
My mom never went to counseling. Mom was divorced to my father when I was born. She knew he was abusive before she was pregnant but couldnt get out. I dont like counseling. I liked one counselor and it was because of the issue of custody. When Tuscarawas County Courts found out my step-dad was in jail from Medina County Courts they decided my mother was unfit as a parent (which she was not, I assure you) and transferred custody to my father. The court case with my father had dragged on until everyone lost interest because of unsubstantial evidence and when we did get evidence they moved on and gave up. So they gave my father custody when my mom should have had it. The whole reason she went with my step-dad is to get away from my father abusing her. She never wanted me to meet him...
The trauma of abuse is never fully gone from a person's consciousness. Its filthy stain leaves its residue on the soul forever.
Writing is so therapeutic....and sharing that writing is a step toward major healing. Good for you. It's beautifully written and so powerful. What happened to you was horrible to say the least, but your power now is tremendous and you truly have it in you to change lives. Imagine saving one little girl from going through that. Or imagine helping one little girl who has gone through that to know that someone is there for her and understands. Get out there and change the world.......because you can. Thanks for sharing this with us.
"Be what you're looking for."
"The next time you're thinking of kicking someone when they're down, offer them your hand and help them back up instead."
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