I have to ask this question...

**MarkT** · 06-18-2011 05:07 AM

Maybe someone can help with this-
When I drink any alcohol or I'm on pain killers, why do I get in such a lovable mood? All I want to do is compliment women, it's not sexual mind you. I just love women in general.
Now, when I'm with my wife - all I want to do is snuggle and cuddle and kiss. Not really into the sexual side of things, just want to snuggle and cuddle. I just can't get enough of it quite frankly. I'm wondering why I'm like this? It bugs the snot out of her for me to snuggle anyway, then I want it even more when I'm on the other stuff. I'd think a woman would love to have a guy like me. These things I ponder while I'm being pushed away.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-18-2011 05:26 AM

I don't quite know how to say this but I will give it a try.

Women like to be loved, long to be loved but don't like someone whom is on drugs/alcohol, clinging .... Being needy and over emotional they see that as well as I wrote it.

People not men, people get over clingy when on something or angry one of the two...

Sometimes those hugs hurt, or are in the way, or are over the top...

**MarkT** · 06-18-2011 06:10 AM

Ok, I understand that. I don't mean to be clingy, just loving that's all. Not a good time for me to be that way, eh? I can see it-

**MarkT** · 06-18-2011 06:19 AM

CW, thanks for your patience with me I really appreciate it. I'm learning Soo much about women... Ok, now I'm afraid, j/k...

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-18-2011 06:20 AM

Not at this stage

It shows your constant need for love and alcohol and or drugs are bringing it out more and that is what you need definately but it kinds of bites you in the bum if you know what I mean..

Bugger I know

**MarkT** · 06-18-2011 06:36 AM

Yes, CW I see that now. Thanks for the view that I never can see myself. Somehow, you always know what angle I need to see a particular situation and point it out to me. It's very nice, thanks.

**ItsASecret** · 06-18-2011 09:21 AM

It is simply a placebo effect type thing. Anytime you have a drink, or have a pill you get snuggly. The drug itself, be it alcohol or the pain killers, will only serve as a means of relaxation not the emotional part...that is all you. Being more relaxed because of the drugs opens you up to different behaviors, that is why people get flirty or angry when they take things. The drug does not cause that behavior it only causes sedation, the relaxation, the ease...anything past that is all in your behavior. When you are relaxed because of the pain killers or alcohol you are one that likes to be a lovable teddy bear. I do not see anything wrong with that unless it turns into a over emotional clingyness.

**jns** · 06-18-2011 09:47 AM

Originally Posted by MarkT

Maybe someone can help with this-
When I drink any alcohol or I'm on pain killers, why do I get in such a lovable mood? All I want to do is compliment women, it's not sexual mind you. I just love women in general.
Now, when I'm with my wife - all I want to do is snuggle and cuddle and kiss. Not really into the sexual side of things, just want to snuggle and cuddle. I just can't get enough of it quite frankly. I'm wondering why I'm like this? It bugs the snot out of her for me to snuggle anyway, then I want it even more when I'm on the other stuff. I'd think a woman would love to have a guy like me. These things I ponder while I'm being pushed away.

Probably something in your upbringing causes you to enjoy snuggling and cuddling. When you use alcohol and or drugs, because of your specific physiology, you get lowered inhibitions. The combination of the two causes your specific response. Your wife, not having a similar response at the time, rejects your advances. Do you know how to get her in the mood for snuggling and cuddling? She may not have that response to any sort of situation if it is not part of her psychological make up. At an earlier time, she may have been tolerant of it as she saw how much you enjoyed it, but she didn't feel it herself. Essentially she was faking it, at least in part.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-18-2011 03:14 PM

Mark I shoot a sentance as I see it sometimes especially when it's late here at night

, other valuable members give the breakdown and explanation

What you need to know is there is nothing wrong with being a loving person, okay... It's just difficult if you are and the person you are with isn't and when drugs are involved, that heightens for you as the posters above have clarified as to why and it probably, emotionally makes it worse for you, your situation, hurts you even more...

You can feel that bliss, that connection with life, anything in life, the love of a pet, your son, hug a tree

without the drugs/alcohol and just be free and true to yourself. Because whilst your wife is an important part of your life, she is one person, one "thing" in your life, not your whole life....and you need to feel that love...

**JadedQueen** · 06-19-2011 05:44 AM

Alcohol, narcotics are considered drugs for a reason, they alter your mood, thoughts, reflexes, behaviors, etc... just as some people get violent when using substances, you get cuddly. I'm not sure why different people have different reactions to the same drug but if I were to guess, I'd say it has to do with a persons chemical makeup, mind set, (kinda like if you get drunk because you are upset about something some people will get even more upset/depressed, and others will become happy). Just like some people go through depression and others don't. I have known people that get drunk and go out of their way to start a fight/argument because that's just how they are when they are drunk.

I'm not saying that you are this way but this may be something to consider... your wife may get annoyed with you when you are drunk/on pain meds. I know for me personally, I get irritated with drunk people easily (especially if I am sober, and I very rarely drink). . I don't know if it's because I'm out of that partying phase of my life but I don't have a problem with people that drink/get drunk... back in the day (well, that's another story in itself) but I just find that I get irritated with the way a lot of drunk people act. Maybe your wife feels the same way?

I don't mean to preach or anything but do you drink/take pain meds often? Do you drink while you are on pain meds? Both alcohol and pain medication can be addictive and harmful. If you are using one, or the other, or both on a daily basis you are probably addicted and should really seek help to get it under control.