Thread: A Message to Women from a Man: You Are Not "Crazy"

Rick, there is a big difference between dismissing the actions of an illness versus the actions of a well person.
As the child of a mentally ill mother, I must impress upon you the importance of seeing abuse AS abuse, regardless of if it is due to an illness. You chose your wife, but your children did not. It is your responsibility as the only well parent to protect your children! If your wife can't or won't get the help she needs, she should not be in the position to parent her children. Your children will grow up one day and understand that you chose to protect your wife at their expense, and they will harbor anger at you for it, perhaps forever. Don't let your children be abused due to mental illness. What you're doing is the same as letting an alcoholic spouse beat your children and excusing it because of drunkenness.

As the child of someone raised from someone with a mental illness...I don't resent my father. In my PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, I don't because I realize my mom is sick, and my dad cannot control her actions. She has been on antidepressants for years, and she lashes out at my dad, just as she does with me (and for some odd reason, she doesn't lash out at my brother ever...THAT I am resentful over). I am not saying that the children wouldn't resent the father for it, but in my case, its probably different as her illness appeared later in my life (when I was 15). It's very difficult, because you feel like you're always walking on eggshells, and I don't talk to my mom about anything anymore. She's so impulsive with her words and actions, it upsets me to share anything personal with her, because she will literally, overreact about it. In her case though- she recognizes she has a mental illness (which I inhereted from her) and chooses to continue lashing out, even though there is care within her reach. I choose to get help. I don't want to become my mother (and that makes me sad saying that)...

I agree with Little though. You cannot use your illness as a crutch or a reason for the way you act. You still have a choice of how to react and a choice to get help for it. It's within reach. It's a matter of actually pursuing it. How old are your kids?