Thread: what is abuse?

AUTUMN

Thanks CW.
I've always felt like an outsider in my family, they were always putting me down and telling me I wasn't good enough to do whatever it was I wanted to do. They always picked on me for being the ugly, unpopular one and they kept trying to change me.
I always wanted to move far away enough to still be able to see them but not all the time so that they weren't interfering in my life. I guess I can do that now.
It's a bit scary being by myself but at the same time I love it because I have independance and I can now be myself without having people telling me it's not good enough.
The counsellor is great, I'm seeing her 3 times a week for 45 mins and she's really helping me with my confidence.

I remember ( honest, i'm not that old ) words of my Mother " Your never going to be a singer get out here and watch football with us", and " I bet your not a Virgin anyway", or " **** new what i did at family functions but i would find myself sent to the bedroom with my Aunty standing up for me "

My Grandmother was my Mother in those days, Mum well, i think she had issues of Post Natal Depression to start with. My father got knocked of a scooter and was in serious trouble, in hospital for 3 months and there was me the baby and my brother 2 years old. It appears she "bonded" with him because he could sort of talk, and i was a burden, it seemed to keep going, well until i left home at 16 and then until i turned 25, in fact the night that my Mother and I forgave each other over a birthday dinner, my Grandmother passed that night in her sleep....

There was always a jealousy between my father and my relationship but i think little girls are the princess and little boys are mummy's boys.

So, point being i can relate to unhappy childhood. I was also felt to be the "ugly duckling" - you have a long neck... gee it never stopped.

But i actually at 18 was a model for a while and lets say, she turned into an okay looking lady..

I did become a singer and i was then a Virgin, and by hook or by crook i was going to wear the lipstick of my choice.... (smile) ...

And, well being independant, i didn't turn out bad, could have but didn't....

So, you go down this journey of life on your own and in my way, maybe for a while, i was out to proove a point, you are wrong....

But, maybe i did as well.....then i learnt to live for ME and i live living for ME, i can say i love myself but not "that way"... lol..

So go down that Journey and be you.... because that is all that matters and understand what ever they have said, does not need to be true, i sure proved all of that wrong didn't i?

PUSHINGUPDAISES

As other poster's have mentioned abuse is anything that is unwanted by an individual. It doesn't matter when it has happened it matters that it happened to you and that it was not what you needed or deserved. It definately is not your fault and YOU ARE NOT A LOSER!

Very very true...

For my experience with this issue I was abused by family members as well. I was very young but can remember the people who abused me and where it occured. I'm not talking of just one family member I'm talking of multiple family members. To this day I have never told anyone about it. I'm embarassed and am dealing with it with the guidance of God and good counseling.

I am glad that you just told us and i am sorry that you went through all of that.

I don't want to make this post about me it is about you. I'm sorry that this has happened to you. I would recommend a great counselor and a reliance on some faith belief. I know that this must be a frustrating time for you and I can empathize with your feelings. No matter what keep you head held high and get the treatment that you deserve. Surround your self with wonderful friends and keep posting on here. We are all here for you.

God bless.

There are many good people in this world, unfortunately there are also bad...

Just remember you are a beautiful soul and this is your life, eventually they will receive their justice whilst you receive the beauty surrounding, all the way through the continued walk of life....

My thoughts are with you.

CW