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Reply With Quotei'll probably regret that in the mroning.
why am i such a loser? iwish i could besomeon else.
what is abuse?
I'm not sure if it;s the right forum but what us abuse?
I hardly evyr drink but i have had sime to drink
if someone touches you and you pull away and he pulls you closers and then lets go when someone comes in the room is it abuse?
I was 16 and i'm 21 now but i've always wondered. i didn;t like it.
i hate men so much.
but i dont really.
it confusing
maybe thats wahy i can't be around men. i feel really uncomfrotabel around them.
i;ve been out sometimes and i'm not the clubbing type so i usually sit in the corner but on the rare occasion i just let go and think hey im with my firends i;m going to have fun a man comes up to me and touches me and it reminds me of him and i don't like it.
please help me. i hate feelin like this.
i'll probably regret that in the mroning.
why am i such a loser? iwish i could besomeon else.
Originally Posted by Autumn
Hey Autumn, it's okay to feel down and to have a drink, i do it myself.
Your not a loser, things can be confusing that's all and we have to work those things through and understand them, it doesn't make a person a loser. So don't think that.
If a woman says "no" and a man keeps going, then that's not on. I think he may have moved away because he didn't want to be caught, as you had pulled away, which is "no" and he may have been frightened that you would have said something else in front of that person/s and then he would have been in for it.
You had an experience that hurt you and confused you and maybe you need to speak to someone about it so you can get it all out and allow them to talk you through it more.
It's hard in your teens and early 20's i to went through simular things, but not every man is the same, there are nice lads out there to.
We all learn things as we go through life, what we like and don't like the important thing is you let him know how you felt and again i'm sorry he didn't listen.
Hope you don't have a headache in the morning, that sucks....
Something I learned the HARD way ...
Sixteen year olds don't know how to say no yet. That's what the statutory rape laws are for. That's why it's illegal for someone older to have sex with someone under 18.
Even if you are saying yes ... at 16, it doesn't necessarily mean yes. It means "I haven't done this before, so maybe I'll try," which is very different from yes. It means "I don't want you to dislike me, so I'll say yes."
It doesn't matter if the guy was under 18 as well ...
If he let go as someone saw him, why was he feeling so guilty?
Abuse has nothing to do with sex; rather, everything to do with power. The other person could have stopped him; he didn't want to be stopped. He wanted you NOT to be ABLE to stop him.
Feel strong. You survived this and if you still need to deal with it so many years later, feel no weakness about dealing with it. It happens to the best of us.
It's okay.
Thankyou for replying. I'm a little bit embarrassed but kind of relieved to get it out.
I was 16 and my uncle was in his 40's. He touched me and I pulled away but he grabbed me even harder (so hard it hurt) and I couldn't get away until someone else entered the room and he let me go.
I was really confused and embarrassed so I never said anything. I still am confused and embarrassed. I keep telling myself I'm being ****** and it was nothing but then I remember him letting go suddenly when someone else came in the room and I get all confused again, because if he wasn't doing anything wrong then why didn't he continue when someone else was there...I don't know. Maybe I'm over reacting.
The thing is, I rarely think of it unless I see him, someone mentions his name or a guy starts touching me when I'm out.
At first when someone's flirting with me and they touch me...like my leg or my hips or they put their arm around me, I kind of like it but then I think of him (I don't know why I think of him) and it makes me feel sick and I run away.
I think what makes me even more confused and embarrassed is the fact that he touched my chest. I'm only small..so I think if I told anyone they would laugh at me because there wasn't much for him to touch....so maybe it wasn't wrong. But whether I'm big or not, what gives him the right to touch me there?!
I don't know if that makes sense, I'm confusing myself even more. It's hard to write/say what's in my head.
I feel like it'll effect me forever. I never want to be touched on my chest, ever. And it's all his fault. I don't feel comfortable around men anymore.
The ****** is supposed to be s t u p i d.I keep telling myself I'm being ****** and it was nothing
Change chest to body because no matter where I'm touched, like last night it was just my leg and stomach, I still don't like it.I feel like it'll effect me forever. I never want to be touched on my chest, ever. And it's all his fault. I don't feel comfortable around men anymore.
I can hardly go through not being touched can I?! I hate him.
We need the edit button lol is there not a feature where you can edit your post but only for 5 minutes, I think I saw that someone where else.
I can hardly go through life not being touched. I missed out life.I can hardly go through not being touched can I?! I hate him.
Hey Autumn.
I have not had a family member do that to me but it is different i think than that of a boy doing it.
This as a Man, he was i assume a lot older, and he was blood, a relative, i too would feel sick if that had happened to me.
Maybe in time, when you feel comfortable, you can confront him and give him what for, sometimes if you say how you feel to someone that has hurt you, it helps.
I imagine, that when you see him, he runs the other way anyway just in-case you do say something to him in front of people.
I wish you didn't have to see him as he brings those memories up again.
But, all i can say to you, is that type of "touching" from a family member is different from a boy touching you, as it's the worse kind. There is meant to be trust in families, each and ever member. He broke that trust as well as how you feel.
Have you ever talked about this to your Mother or Father? Maybe you need to and get the support that you need from "your family" to be there for you through this as well.
They are your parents and they will understand and i think you need them at the moment in this but i know that's hard to do but think about it.
I think all the words to Autumn are wonderful but I think she needs to talk to someone other than her parents...Possibly a wonderful woman therapist who you can slowly tell what is really bothering you...I have the feeling that you have a terrible sex hang up from this experience. I can see where you would and you must get it out...
One of the hardest things for a woman to do is to bare her soul...This you started to do yesterday for the first time..I know this...It took me probably six to eight weeks of talking with Patti before I could tell her who I was and this new woman that lived inside of me...Only when I was able to talk, could she be able to help me...She did a lot of research as I was a different encounter for her but if you have a good person helping you, they free your mind and let it expand and grow as I have found...You are bottling this up and it has to come out...We all are here to talk with you and embarrassment should never enter into it. We all hide behind a computer and send our love to one another through the keyboard...This way we are all connected....TC, C
I do agree totally and if not a therapist due to affordability, there would be free councellors for women in England i am sure, there is here.
The hardest thing is to talk, and perhaps it is too soon to be able to do that with your mother for you.
I just visualise you having to be around him during family events and wish that your family were able to hold you, and keep him away i guess, be there for you at those times.
But yes, first steps first if you can't talk to them, you do have to talk and get it out and yes, we are here.
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