Had sex for the first time, Have some questions. =)

**Junior** · 09-14-2008 08:31 PM

Hello =)

As you can see i am a boy. My Girlfriend and i had sex for the first time yesterday.

Here are some facts that might be important.
We're 20 years old, Very much inlove. have been dating for the
last six months. She is a virgin and i have had sex with 2 girls before
her. Im her first, for Everything, even seeing her shirtless.

I have some question, some come from my own insecurities, but also just
a desire to know what is "Natural" and what. well, isn't.

My girlfriend can orgasm pretty quickly if i use my fingers to penetrate her and
play with the clit. If i play with only one of them individually its still very hard for
her to guide herself to an orgasm - also it took us about 2 months till her clit got
used to the direct touch of my fingers, at first it hurt, then it hurt and felt good,
and eventually it just felt good.

Yesterday we had sex for the first time. it was spontaneous, she was very wet
too.

I have a few questions so ill make them seperate

1.It was fun for her, really SLIGHTLY painful, no more then that. the first time
we did it offcourse we were both kinda, excited and shocked, over all we did it
about 5 times. Still, she didn't go "Crazy" (as in, it didn't make her cum or get
close to it). I find that odd for a few reasons.
one, being that a once or twice she almost came when i used only one finger
to penetrate her vagina, so why not from my penis?
two, the other two girls i was with (far from virgins) enjoyed it alot, and
even came from the penetration. im not sure if its small or big but my penis
is slightly less wide then 3 fingers, and girth is more obviously, should i be
worrid it isn't big enough to satisfy her (Which used to be a virgin a day ago)
but was enough to satisfy two none virgins?

2.she felt some burn in her vagina the day after, it was a-bit sore for her when
she sat down, and also said she "felt me" inside her even over an hour after the
penetration. also there was some odd feeling inside her lower abdomen (these
are also reasons why its hard for me to believe she didn't enjoy it cause of
a lack of friction)
anyways - Are these things normal? the slight burns and pressure in lower belly?
does it go away?

3.(and last) i asked one of the girls ive slept with before if sex at first was already
amazing. she said that not at all and at first was like "Huh? is this what everyone
go crazy about?" but she said that after a month and a half+, the pain slowly faded
away, and the ok feeling became amazing and then it became really fun. does that
make sense? is the vagina, like the clit? and takes time to "Get used" to the sensation
in order to enjoy it very much? and that is odd before if the penis is alot larger then
two fingers why then? or maybe that is why? bigger friction = more time to get used to it?

Im really sorry about the length of this msg, But i could really use the help.
im feeling really insecure, if my size is an issue, all our love, all out passion,
all the will to spent our lives together matters not, because i won't be able
to give her the amazing sex she deserves.. and she deserves the best.

Thank you for reading. <3

**natalie** · 09-14-2008 08:41 PM

awe well its sweet taht you feel she deserves the best.. to answer number 2 first: yeS if you had sex FIVE times her first time having sex she will be ore.. if i go for more than 2 hours at a time i feel pain, even many months into the relationship.. i had to biek to work the morning after a long session with my boyfriend and it was definitly not something i would like to repeat :P... as for your first question.. if youre her first and she didnt "go crazy" dont worry about it. i took a while to "come out of my shell" she was probably thinking too much or worrying about what to do or not to do etc.. youll notice that shell be more relaxed (sexually) with you the more you guys are together. dont stress so much about it. size i wouldnt worry about either.. though ive heard its one of men's greatest worries in bed.. dont worry about it.. youre probably fine. nd for your third question. figners work wonders and are also able to hit the G-pot easier as a penis doenst quite curve that way :P. so that probably explains that. you really shouldnt worry about all this as much as you are. and sorry if the asnweres arent quite what you wanted but its my thougts on your situation i hope i helped!!

**Junior** · 09-14-2008 08:56 PM

First of all - Thanks for answering this quickly.

I have to emphasize that the 5 times thing was a result of us needing to feel each other,
be one, it was a thing of love, not horneiness (Of course it was fun, and a turn on too)

Also - She did say that first time she was really full of thoughts (obviously), and so was
i... and she did say (which i think is what u ment by "being relaxed") that the 2nd and so
on times were not a big change, though wise. i guess it does take some mental effort
to get lost in the moment, like it took with the clit, and like it took with fingers?

to be honest we even talked about it, i told her my worries about the size, and basically
everything i wrote here - all she could tell me is that it is way big (Even though she has
not seen anything else, i guess she knows what she feels when im inside?)

Thanks for your answers.
i will wait for more answers for my original post, Thank you!

P.S
I don't only feel she deserves the best, she does =)))

**natalie** · 09-14-2008 09:12 PM

lol i see.. yeah well if she says youre "way big " then way to go man shes the only one youre worrying about right?? that may have also been why she was so sore lol.
and well.. getting lost in the moment comes a lot easier when youve totally broken out of your shell with her and her with you ).. i don know what else to say but yeah hope i helped.. if shes sore, itll change eventually probably within a month and oh yeah of course she enjoyed herself and had tons of thoughts defnintly its sex

but theres going tobe this underlying subconascious worry about doing things right.. itll go away though you just need to keep telling her how shes doing (positive reinforcement though buddy ) pce

**Junior** · 09-14-2008 09:17 PM

Lol, i don't care if its Huge or Tiny as long as she has fun and is satisfied.

But i see what you're saying, i worry too much, we only had sex a day
ago... i need to give it time - i really only worry because i want the best
for her.

Thanks again.

Hope someone can shed even more light on my question...

**silvertae** · 09-15-2008 07:55 AM

Originally Posted by Junior

1.It was fun for her, really SLIGHTLY painful, no more then that. the first time we did it offcourse we were both kinda, excited and shocked, over all we did it about 5 times. Still, she didn't go "Crazy" (as in, it didn't make her cum or get close to it). I find that odd for a few reasons. one, being that a once or twice she almost came when i used only one finger to penetrate her vagina, so why not from my penis? two, the other two girls i was with (far from virgins) enjoyed it alot, and even came from the penetration. im not sure if its small or big but my penis is slightly less wide then 3 fingers, and girth is more obviously, should i be worrid it isn't big enough to satisfy her (Which used to be a virgin a day ago) but was enough to satisfy two none virgins?

2.she felt some burn in her vagina the day after, it was a-bit sore for her when she sat down, and also said she "felt me" inside her even over an hour after the penetration. also there was some odd feeling inside her lower abdomen (these are also reasons why its hard for me to believe she didn't enjoy it cause of a lack of friction) anyways - Are these things normal? the slight burns and pressure in lower belly? does it go away?

3.(and last) i asked one of the girls ive slept with before if sex at first was already amazing. she said that not at all and at first was like "Huh? is this what everyone go crazy about?" but she said that after a month and a half+, the pain slowly faded away, and the ok feeling became amazing and then it became really fun. does that make sense? is the vagina, like the clit? and takes time to "Get used" to the sensation in order to enjoy it very much? and that is odd before if the penis is alot larger then two fingers why then? or maybe that is why? bigger friction = more time to get used to it?

She is completely, 100% normal. Don't stress yourself our OR stress her out by putting her under any pressure regarding this.

Regarding number 1 - It's not AT ALL surprising that she didn't get off. The VAST majority of women do not orgasm from penetration alone. It's just that simple. Most need clitoral stimulation of some sort in order to orgasm during sex. And as you mentioned, she can get off with a combination or finger penetration and clit stimulation, so she will likely learn to get off with penis penetration AND clit stimulation as well. But that will take TIME. It takes time to get used to the new sensations, to learn what positions work, what angles work, etc. And if it turns out that she's NEVER able to orgasm strictly from being penetrated? That's entirely normal and ok. I always need to either have my clit pushed against my boyfriend OR reach down and touch myself to get off. That's just the way it is. I have fantastic orgasms and I'm happy.

Regarding number 2 - Burning and pressure and still feeling like she can feel you inside are entirely normal. The unpleasant feelings should go away as she heals from the experience and as her vagina becomes conditioned to sex over time. I love that feeling of my partner still being inside me after the fact but I rarely get it now that we have sex so regularly. And he's plenty big enough.

Regarding number 3 - Yes, the vagina takes time to get used to the new sensations. And for many women, sex doesn't begin to really be great for several years! Many women start off just thinking it's "just ok" and then as they slowly learn more about their bodies and how to feel pleasure then sex becomes more and more enjoyable. BUT, like I said, she may never orgasm from just penetration.

And just a side note. I don't mean this to be offensive at all, but just a statement of fact that you should be aware of. You say other girls you've been with were able to orgasm with just penetration. This just may not be true. It's likely that they either managed to get enough clit stimulation during sex in order to orgasm OR they lied. There are MANY women in this world who feel intense pressure to orgasm during sex and so they fake it and lie about it. This may be through no fault of your own but just some misguided perceptions they had. But either way, whether they really did orgasm or whether they faked it, DON'T make the mistake of making your current girlfriend feel inadequate by saying "well my previous partners could orgasm from sex....why can't you?". Everybody is different and reacts differently to sex. Just take your time, get to know her body, learn and grow with her and throw out any assumptions you had based on previous relationships.

**Junior** · 09-15-2008 09:12 AM

No no no no no! not at all!

the only comparison i've made was for "Why could i make them enjoy and not
her, what am i doing wrong?" i Love her, she means more to me then i myself
do...

There really is no pressure on her, the fact that from a virgin that waited
for 20 years for the/a right guy, being fully sexual active after 6 month is
very fast concidering what she has been through and the fact she hated
any type of human or intimate touch (Except kissing and hugging) is only
because i NEVER pressured her, and every time i stimulated her clit and it
started hurting cause she needed to get used to it, and she was embaressed
i embraced her told her its normal and that i don't mind at all, i love her and that
the sex part is only a tiny part of our relationship.

so you need not worry =) she is in good hands.
Thank you for your questions, they were pretty much what i hoped to hear
but more then that they were complete.

one more thing, is it recommended to have a gyno physical check after losing your virginity?
TY!

**silvertae** · 09-15-2008 09:40 AM

Sounds like you're a good and loving boyfriend then. Just wanted to put those ideas out there for you to consider.

It's certainly a good idea for her to have a pelvic exam after becoming sexually active. It's not an urgent need but it does become important to have yearly after after beginning sex. If she decides to go on hormonal birth control the doctor will probably require an her to have an exam for that anyway.

**Junior** · 09-15-2008 10:14 AM

oh snaps, i totally forgot to mention that she is on BC, started at the beginning of this month, almost done with her first package.

P.S
so can i stop worrying about the Size thing and just assume that its because
of the need for physical and mental something that the huge pleasure didn't
take place yet? (Don't be ashamed to tell me it might be a size issue, i can
handle it...)

ty.

**silvertae** · 09-15-2008 11:24 AM

Originally Posted by Junior

oh snaps, i totally forgot to mention that she is on BC, started at the beginning of this month, almost done with her first package.

P.S
so can i stop worrying about the Size thing and just assume that its because
of the need for physical and mental something that the huge pleasure didn't
take place yet? (Don't be ashamed to tell me it might be a size issue, i can
handle it...)

ty.

If she's on HBC and hasn't had a pelvic yet, she should get one. Otherwise, unless she experiences any unpleasant changes since starting sex she could prob wait til her next scheduled checkup and not worry.

Size is no guarantee at all of whether she'll orgasm. Unless you're VERY small you have nothing to worry about. Often the shape of the penis will have a greater effect. For instance a curve upward may result in the penis stimulating the g-spot in face-to-face positions (but then again, some women don't even LIKE having their g-spots stimulated). But seriously... your size just isn't the key factor. A big penis will NOT automatically guarantee an "OH MY GOD" orgasm. In fact, being too large for the girl can be a real problem for some women because of discomfort, etc. So stop associating a big penis with intense pleasure. It's just not a generally correct association. I had easier and quicker orgasms with guys who were both smaller and bigger than my current boyfriend. It's just a matter of how your bodies mesh together.

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