Up until two years ago I had an active sex life since then I have gradually developed this most embarrassing problem, which makes me feel that I will never be able to feel comfortable with another partner. I know that people do not have perfectly symmetrical bodies and I am not looking for perfection but over the past two years one of my vaginal lips has shrunk to virtual non-existence while the other one quite large. I am 52 years old and know to expect changes in body as I go through the menopause but to have this happen makes me feel like a freak and too embarrassed to even go to the doctors. What can I do, is this vast difference normal, is there likely to be any underlying medical problem causing this, there are no lumps or other abnormalities and no pain apart from psychological.

It is normal in most women to have one lip larger then the other. Some more then others. I think the problem is exagerrated if the woman frequently uses a vibrator or masterbates and tends to always put pressure more to one side then the other.

The only thing that can be done to even the differences out is to have corrective surgery on them. You would probably only have to have one side worked on to match the side you like best. Of course, that entails a lot of pain and money.

You should go to the doc. There are skin conditions that can cause the vulva to do this. They are treatable but get worse if left alone. Becareful though. Many docs aren't as smart as u would think. Try to learn more about the skin conditions before u go so u can argue w/them about your problem. Biopsy's show nearly any skin problems u can have. You could ask for one of those.