Thread: married-no sex

oh and to be more specfic, it's a pressure just as he tries to get in. I ignore it...it just gets worse and he never gets in.

i would say try using more lubricant, but your GYN will be able to give you better advice on what to use and how to go about doing it without having so much pain. The first few times are a little painful for some people, it goes away after a few times of having sex. goodluck!

Originally Posted by roxy

yea, nice subject, but that's it in a nutshell
Me and my husband have been married for a year and we're both virgins.

We've tried a lot, but everytime I have incredible pain. I see people keep saying "use lubricants" but we have and I don't think that's the problem.

If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.

We just got health insurance and I plan on seeing a gyno, but I am just so nervous.
I keep thinking they are just going to tell me to "try harder" or to use dilators or something to widen my vagina...i just don't want to do that.

WOW~! Thanks for posting-same here! We've been married almost 7mths and no Love Making yet! Same w/you we try lube and even he's tried his fingers..and I dont want to go to the gyno because if he can't fit how is the spectrum thing gonna fit! i mean it doesnt even start to go in-the hole is so small compared to an erect P****..I went to a gyno and TOLD him what was going on and he said that i may have a imperferated hymen which means they surgically cut it-and it's painless and your under ligh anestesia*-I just dont want anyone looking down there or trying to go in! Please keep me up to date on what you plan on doing! thanks again for posting! Gives me hope knowing someone else out there is like me! God Bless you girl!

yea, it sure is a huge help knowing there are people out there going through the same thing.

I've looked up a lot of stuff and keep trying to psych myself up for the gyno. I just don't want to do it. I feel like it is so unfair that anyone should have to go through this. I actually read that this happens to some virgins because they have heard about the pain of first time sex. That may have something to do with it, but I think I will make an appointment...as scared to death as I am.

I hope it is the hymen, then at least I would know what it is and I've read a lot about that.

I know-I feel the same way-especially when we've waited for marriage and then we cant even make love! I don't get it! But then I see my friends who aren't even thinking of marriage go out and have it! Makes me so ill! But God will Honor us and when we finally DO it will be wonderful! Yeah i think it has a lot to do w/me thinking of the pain but ya can't help it-I try and try to not..but hopefully its our hymens-Good luck and plz let me know what the Doc. says~!

i hope you're right

i'm insanely scared, but i'll keep you update, once i go. the thing is i told my husband about it 'possibly' being my hymen and he goes "told you somehting was wrong with you." What great support i'm getting... He didn't mean it real bad though, he's not like that on a normal basis, so that was weird. I don't think he understands how every little support from him can do a world of good for me right now.

Anyway though, you only TALKED to your doctor when you went in that time? That would be nice. I keep getting scared of going because it is harder to do a pap when you are a virgin and extra hard for people with our problem.

My prayers are with you...this is not fun.

i JUST read your post about having irregular periods

SAME HERE, that is so weird.

Mine are extremely, extremely light. They will last 10 days. Be really light at the beginning, then 2 or 3 days of a normal flow and then light again for the rest.
it is crazy... and i never know what kind of pad i should wear, it sucks.

Are your's like that at all or are u still having that problem?

Originally Posted by roxy

i hope you're right

i'm insanely scared, but i'll keep you update, once i go. the thing is i told my husband about it 'possibly' being my hymen and he goes "told you somehting was wrong with you." What great support i'm getting... He didn't mean it real bad though, he's not like that on a normal basis, so that was weird. I don't think he understands how every little support from him can do a world of good for me right now.

Anyway though, you only TALKED to your doctor when you went in that time? That would be nice. I keep getting scared of going because it is harder to do a pap when you are a virgin and extra hard for people with our problem.

My prayers are with you...this is not fun.

aww..maybe he didn't mean it like that-but yeah you need all the support you can get-there's nothing WRONG w/you-it's just a part of you thats diff. and theres a reason for it we just can't see it-God doesnt make mistakes! Yeah the first time I went-I just told him what was going on that I couldn't have sex and that we try and try and told him what the pain felt like and he said that I might have a imperferated Hymen-and he said but in order to know for sure he'd have to do an exam and said due to me being so small he said he would use a Pediatric spectrum-and showed it to me-it's not TE NINY but it isn't big..so I could deal w/that MAYBE! and I told him I wasn't ready for an exam right then and he said well when ever i was ready to come bk and see him-of course gave the spill of that i needed to have one asap due to age and stuff-but they have to say that-and also he said that if it wasn't my hyment he could prescribe Dialators-which is yuck to think about-but at this point I'll try it-and they are supposed to be no pain at all-

about the periods-mine are like that but they are HEAVY! instead of light..but it will last for like 4 days then like 7 or 10 or 14 never know when they are gonna come i just usually start around the end of the month 28th or it will come * the beginning of a month 2nd! Aggrivating! sometimes they are light and sometimes not-and sometimes i cramp and can't even walk and sometimes cant even tell im on! Craziness!

But its so great to find someone to talk to! i hate that it has to be about this! but God puts ppl in each other's lives for all kinds of reasons! And tell you husband to support you or else! lol-it'd be like him not being able to perform you wouldnt tell him something was WRONG w/him!