extreme exam anxiety

**photojkc** · 07-14-2009 07:40 PM

I am looking for any help I can get on this matter. I am 24 and have only had one pelvic exam at 22. I have horrible anxiety when it comes to doctors, always have. My first exam went fine, but I was just so disgusted when it was over, and nautious. It took me a couple of days to get over it. I know this is ridiculous. I have been having trouble sleeping on and off and with trying to loose weight (working out and eating well for 7 months with a personal trainer and only lost 15 lbs) and some other issues, plus not having periods at all. At the first exam I was put on birth control, but the first period I had was awful and I just didn't want to take them. I have had blood work done a few times and my thyroid is high. Now I have all the symptoms of PCOS and slight pain and discomfort. I went to have an ultrasound done and she wanted to do it vaginally. I started almost started crying and said i just couldn't, plus people at this little clinic I was at were just walking in and out like I wasn't in there while she was doing it normally. She then made fun of my in the room next to me like I couldn't hear her. I have enlarged ovaries and am waiting on the results. I want to find a doctor instead of going to these small town clinics that are just awful. I just don't know how to go about finding one, and how to get through an exam without that awful feeling or crying. I know I can't let a man touch me (well except for my husband, I have no problem there!). I don't know how to talk to a doctor without them thinking I am crazy. I always get those looks. I have it completely together in day to day life, it is just doctor stuff that gets me upset, and they always make me feel so stupid for being the way I am. I am hoping to find someone who has gotten through something like this and who knows how to find a doctor who can be patient and understanding. I want to have lost the weight I still need to lose within the next year (50 lbs or so) so I can get my hormones right and start trying to get pregnant. I am exercizing, eating right, I have done my research on how to help myself. I just need to figure out how to deal with this anxiety and fear I have. I need to know I am not a freak and there is someone else in the world who is/was like me. Thanks for reading this and anything helpful you can tell me.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-15-2009 02:23 AM

I was at were just walking in and out like I wasn't in there while she was doing it normally. She then made fun of my in the room next to me like I couldn't hear her

Are you sure that she was doing that or talking about something in her life? You have anxiety over Doctors as I do over Dentists.

It's fantastic that you have researched and worked out how to deal with things. 15lbs is ALOT... It takes time love to lose what you want to..

There are alot of people that suffer anxiety and so I am writing this so that those people read this thread because your heading really points to "exams" you know like school exams, perhaps therefore? That's how I saw it.

Remember, have a "goal" and aim at it... It doesn't matter if you don't read 50lb's in one year as long as you reach something realistic sweet.

Keep eating right, exercising and if your not happy with your Doctors, keep searching until you find one.

I have a Dentist now that if I cry, they would cry too... Makes a change over the one that didn't care...

CW

**Feminist** · 07-26-2009 10:08 AM

Originally Posted by photojkc

I am looking for any help I can get on this matter. I am 24 and have only had one pelvic exam at 22. I have horrible anxiety when it comes to doctors, always have. My first exam went fine, but I was just so disgusted when it was over, and nautious. It took me a couple of days to get over it. I know this is ridiculous. I have been having trouble sleeping on and off and with trying to loose weight (working out and eating well for 7 months with a personal trainer and only lost 15 lbs) and some other issues, plus not having periods at all. At the first exam I was put on birth control, but the first period I had was awful and I just didn't want to take them. I have had blood work done a few times and my thyroid is high. Now I have all the symptoms of PCOS and slight pain and discomfort. I went to have an ultrasound done and she wanted to do it vaginally. I started almost started crying and said i just couldn't, plus people at this little clinic I was at were just walking in and out like I wasn't in there while she was doing it normally. She then made fun of my in the room next to me like I couldn't hear her. I have enlarged ovaries and am waiting on the results. I want to find a doctor instead of going to these small town clinics that are just awful. I just don't know how to go about finding one, and how to get through an exam without that awful feeling or crying. I know I can't let a man touch me (well except for my husband, I have no problem there!). I don't know how to talk to a doctor without them thinking I am crazy. I always get those looks. I have it completely together in day to day life, it is just doctor stuff that gets me upset, and they always make me feel so stupid for being the way I am. I am hoping to find someone who has gotten through something like this and who knows how to find a doctor who can be patient and understanding. I want to have lost the weight I still need to lose within the next year (50 lbs or so) so I can get my hormones right and start trying to get pregnant. I am exercizing, eating right, I have done my research on how to help myself. I just need to figure out how to deal with this anxiety and fear I have. I need to know I am not a freak and there is someone else in the world who is/was like me. Thanks for reading this and anything helpful you can tell me.

I feel exactly the way that you do - that's why I'm 22 and I haven't been to the gyno! Every time I even think about it I get so freaked out and sick. I'm not scared of being in pain - I'm scared of personal intrusion, of being on my back and not having control. Every time I think about it, it makes me feel like it would be some kind of assault, because I really *don't want* it to happen, and going would just be me trying to get over my fears and knowing that it's something I need to do. I'm terrified of anyone touching me when I know that I'm forcing myself to let them and that I feel so insecure and invaded. I haven't been sexually abused, and I feel guilty to think about a gyno visit in terms of feeling creepily invaded because I don't want to ever diminish the actuality of abuse that women and girls go through every day. But I'm just SO.TERRIFIED. Plus, I'm a lesbian, so I'm a little worried about the "asking about sexual history" part just in case the gyno were to act weird about it. I'm not sure if I would want my wife to come with me [she is the only person I've ever slept with, anyway, so I'm less freaked out that I actually have something wrong going on] - I don't know if that would make me feel better or even more embarrassed.

I wish I had advice for you, but I'm seeking the same type of advice! I just wanted you to know that you're not alone and that I've been struggling with this terror for months ever since my then-girlfriend brought it up to me that I really should visit a gyno one of these days. I've read stuff on the internet about the need to find a good gyno who you can talk to you about your stress and anxiety and fear, and how a good gyno will let you know everything that is happening and be understanding and sympathetic, etc. By the way, it sounds like your gyno was APPALLINGLY unethical - I am so very sorry. I'm worried that even with an awesome gyno, I will just feel so incredibly exposed and violated. Is there anything the two of us can do?? Does anyone have any advice for how to cope psychologically?

I wish you the very, very best. <3

**Amyrose80** · 08-26-2009 11:34 PM

Hey there , i know exactly how u feel, i just went through my first exam last week, i have been putting it off for so long, im 28 years old!! I was so scared and i have very high aniexty when it comes to going the doctors. I was making a big deal about it , but once i got there and accepted what was happeing , it wasnt so bad, the doctor was really nice and paieicnt. i told her it was my first time, i mean i was really nervous becuase no one has been down in my private area except my boyfriend!! and it was very wierd and surprsiemly went by really fast , and she didnt really have any problem doing what she had to do. I do know what u mean by kind of feeling a little bit violated, im scared though becuase during the exam she felt a mass on the right side of my uterus, so i have to get a pelivic ultra sound, im praying i dont have do have it done vaginally, so im having aniexty again, dont worry u will get throguh this and u will be fine, it feels good talking to some one who can relate alittle to where im comiong from, i hope i was a little help tp to u ..