Gyno Jitters

**BasketCase** · 04-12-2010 10:48 PM

I am 20 years old and I have only been to a gyno once and I was terrified and freaked out the whole time. The lady asked me if I was sexualy abused, I reacted to it so badly. I have not. I told her that and she kept pushing it thinking I was lying to her. I havent went back bc of that but I know I need to, that was about 2 years ago. How do I feel more comfortable. I am not going to that place again, so should a get a female or a male. Idk I just need help with the nerves.

**Mes T** · 04-12-2010 10:56 PM

What specifically about it freaks you out?

**LanaBear** · 04-13-2010 07:50 AM

Definitely go to a new place. That's pretty ridiculous.

Some women just get really stressed when going. I did until I had my first child, after all the exams and everything that happens when you are pregnant, a yearly pap is like a cake walk now.

Like Mes asked, what has you so nervous about going?

Regarding male or female Dr's. It really depends on what you are comfortable with. I've probably had the opposite experience of most. I've had 4 Dr's in 14 years, I started with a male, had him for 5 years (he delivered my first), then moved. I went to a female and had a horrible experience with her, so I found another male Dr, he was wonderful (delivered my second). Then I moved again, I found another male Dr, who I really like. So, at this point I'm more partial to male Dr's.

Read the reviews of the Dr in your area. Not sure where you are at, but I've found Yelp is a good place for reviews of anything. Feel free to go in and "interview" your Dr to see if you feel comfortable with him/her before you even make an appointment for your lady bits.

**caterpillar79** · 04-13-2010 07:56 AM

I am Lana's exact opposite. I've never been to a male GYN as I am too shy to show myself. But, I heard that generally, most male doctors are gentler than their fmale counterparts.

I hope you're not going to be scared (whatever it is) for this is going to be your life once you're sexually active.

**KMonte85** · 04-13-2010 08:04 AM

I don't exactly love going to the gyno either... I think like the others said, it would help to know just why you are so scared/freaked out. Is it because you don't like your doctor? Is it your afraid that might find something abnormal? Getting to the bottom of your fear will allow you to better prepare yourself for the next time. As for male vs. female.. I've only ever had female doctors, and I've really liked them. I'm not sure it matters either way, as long as you find someone you like with who makes your time there as comfortable as possible.

It's not fun, that's a given - I sure don't love setting up my appointment for my yearly and wait til the last second to do so. I think perhaps finding a doctor who helps alleviate your nerves would help. I like my doctor, she's kind, and she's got a spunky personality so we can actually sort of keep a lively conversation going during exams. That helps me to relax a bit and keep my mind off of whats going on under the paper sheet...

**Sarah001** · 04-13-2010 12:00 PM

I think you get used to it the more you go, however if it really makes you anxious and you're practically phobic about it I would recommend getting a hypnotherapy CD for general phobias and using that to get over it, I used one before my last MRI because they freaked me out so badly but after the CD I was totally relaxed for the whole thing.

**BasketCase** · 04-13-2010 10:16 PM

Thanks. It sucks that we have to do this every year. I know I should have been going way more. I have no choice but to go because My birth control is running low and I would really like to try something different anyway. The ring maybe. Im not really sure what I am afraid of though. Just the thought of someone I don't know examing my lady parts. lol But the first time I went I really didnt know what to expect, that didn't help. Plus she was talking about some spot she saw that freaked me out. It turned out to be nothing but for real scary few mins. Skin tag of some sort I was never really clear about that. But I will have to suck it up I guess. I live in a small town so there really are not that many choices. I am hoping one of them is a good fit for me.

**p3375** · 04-14-2010 03:10 AM

BC:
Lots of Doc.s / R.N. have bad 'bedside'. Not to excuse it, but over the years they see the same thing (we're not all that unique 'there' or anywhere) and get used to the idea that others should think no more of the exam than they do - no big deal. This can make them brusque and appear uncaring.

This has been a problem in the med. community for a long time and is being recognized as such. New doc.s and nurses get some emphasis on patient relationships and the amazing idea that a pt is not just a body laying there on the table but a whole person w/ brain and feelings and everything!

Soooo,, if ya can, finding a younger doc in your area may be a help. They generally have had less time to develop bad habits and may be less clueless as to what you're feeling. also remember, they work for you. Just like the air conditioner repairman or the guy who mows your lawn - you're paying for a service, you da boss!!

P