Pain during intercourse

**jools** · 05-20-2010 01:13 PM

Hi im male typing this while the mrs is absorbed watching t.v, I hope thats ok, well... my wife has been visiting a gynecologist for 2 years without a diagnosis. She is suffering from pain during sexual intercourse. I have a feeling that it could be Dyspareunia (just what ive researched on t'net) but she's not happy that I think it could be a phychological problem. On a recent visit to her hospital the doctor had used lubrication on her and had 2 fingers inside of her vagina and she did not feel any pain (which I can not do), she came home (still lubed up) and we had the best sex in a very long time.
We always use lubrication but I was thinking if there is a certain way on how to apply ithe lube properley and what lubrication do the hospitals use and where to buy it from as it is clearly better than what we have stored in our house (durex)

We are trying for a 2nd child so I do hope that this makes sense and that I can get a reply, thanks!! x

**pretzel** · 05-20-2010 01:21 PM

Hi Jools,

Another guy here and believe me this is a good forum. Many very nice people.

As for your wife and the lube, not sure if durex is water based or oil based. There's plenty of well informed ladies who could answer that much better than myself.

Also, you need to lube yourself also if your not.

I don't think there's a right or wrong way to put lubricants on. Just as long as you use plenty.

**Sarah001** · 05-20-2010 01:24 PM

How nice of you to be concerned enough about your wife to post a message here, very sweet! There are a whole host of lubes available so I would suggest stocking up on a variety to test them out. Also I think if a woman visits a gynae we expect to have to consciously relax the muscles to have the examination performed so we do actively do this, this does relate to it being psychological so some relaxation for your wife might be helpful, stress plays a big part in sexual dysfunction. Your wife might be worried about things that she doesn't want to bother you with or just stressed out with day to day life. Plenty of foreplay, plenty of lube and taking things really slowly so she doesn't feel under pressure to "perform" might help, often non-penetrative sex for a while can take the pressure off enough to change the reaction so perhaps that might be worth a try too. Good luck.

**LanaBear** · 05-20-2010 01:27 PM

I don't think I've seen anything other than KY Jelly in any of my Dr's offices.

Lube up yourself AND her with a water based lube. Also, are you penetrating too deeply? If you are hitting up against her cervix, that IS NOT pleasant for most.

Like Sarah said above, get a couple of different ones, thick ones, thinner ones, there are many out there to choose from. See what works best for you. I'm a fan of AstroGlide personally.