Newbie poster here. Nothing like starting out with a doozie of a topic.
Thank goodness there are these forums available nowadays. I know there is a lot of false information and just bad advice out there, but I thought I would try to see what the wise half of the human species has to offer before I sit in the waiting room to see my Dr.
Along with all of the other changes happening to me(Peri-menopause), I have noticed that there is a bulge between my urethra and vaginal opening. I normally have no discomfort from this with 2 exceptions. The first is during intercourse. The bulge does not lubricate and therefore tends to get irritated when my husbands penis "lifts" it out of the way to enter my vagina. I imagine it isn't the best feeling for him either, and yes he has noticed it. The second is during my period. The same thing happens as above, but this time it is with a tampon. Also, it seems that the correct placement of the tampon is harder to achieve leading to times where a freshly inserted one is useless and the flow goes right on by and out. Could this be from my bladder pushing against the vagina wall? Or could it be my cervix working it's way down and distorting everything along the way?
I am 43. I have had 2 children naturally. The first with forceps and an episiotomy. For the second the doctor had me in a birthing chair and let the peritoneum rip instead of cutting. Both were full term and under 8lbs. The last was almost 17 years ago. After my first child I had the odd stress incontinence issue and it has never gone away. I am able to tighten up the muscles with enough warning and try to keep my bladder from getting too full so that in 24 years, I have only had 3 leaks and 1 of those was when I was pregnant with my second child. 1 year after my second child, I did get my tubes tied laparoscopically. I do not smoke, but grew up around it. I have worked at 2 jobs in the past where the lifting may have been over what was "safe" for me. My ancestry is English, and I have noticed a few varicose veins behind my knees and have had a couple of hemorrhoids as well.
Am I just falling apart? Does anyone else see themselves in my description and want to share ideas/stories/information? I am leaning towards the surgery option if my self diagnosis is correct.(Don't worry, I will have at least one medical opinion before I do anything, and probably more.)

Thank you in advance,
Karen