Is your the inside of your vagina different after childbirth? PLEASE HELP ME!

**PunkRockElf** · 04-28-2011 09:41 AM

My children are 10 years and 15 months old. After the first birth, everything went back to normal down there, despite being cut and still tearing. No problems at all. After my second delivery, I had the Mirena IUD put in for the first time. (I don't KNOW if this has anything to do with the IUD, but I don't THINK it does.) I didn't tear or have to be cut this time due to my midwife "massaging" the area during birth. But this is my problem: the bottom of my opening is SO sensitive that it's almost painful to have sex. Also, the inside of my vagina seems to have shifted position. (That is the only way I can describe it.) Sex ranges from being uncomfortable to very painful almost every time due to the fact that it now feels like my husband is poking the wrong area. My "G-spot" is almost impossible to find with his penis, no matter the position. I feel so bad for him because he wants to do it and he is so patient, but I have absolutely no sex drive anymore. I know this is partially due to the side effects of the IUD, but I also feel like it is caused by the fact that every time he wants to be intimate, I cringe inside, knowing that it most likely won't be pleasurable for me. All the positions that worked for us before are now painful/uncomfortable, and we've tried every other angle known to man since this started. Slow, fast, you name it, and we've done it, but nothing is fun for me anymore. I just want my normal sex life back, because we've been dealing with this for a year now, and it is beginning to put a strain on our relationship in more than one area. Please, if anyone else out there has experienced this "shifting vagina" as I call it, please let me know. I feel so weird and alone. I am going to the doctor today for a check up, but even she sounded confused by it when I described it over the phone. I hope she can help, but I would really like to know if anyone else has gone through this, and if so, what can I do about it? Thank you.

**WildChild** · 04-28-2011 09:54 AM

I would start by getting rid of the Mirena and getting a non hormonal IUD. The only reasons to have a have a hormonal IUD seem to be to make the manufacturer more money and to make your period shorter. Is a shorter period and other side effects worth trading your sex drive for?

Talk to you mid wife about this. You may need to see a GYN - a good one, not just a random one. You may have scar tissue that is causing some trouble. Episiotomies are rarely done anymore as it has been conclusively found that they heal less readily and with more scaring than a tear. There is no reason to tear if you do your perineum massage during pregnancy. However, that won't help now. You may need surgery to reduce scar tissue.

Anticipation of pain is surely not helping either. Can you orgasm with masturbation? Perhaps a lot more play before hand? Or finding ways to pleasure each other without as much intercourse?

**PunkRockElf** · 04-28-2011 10:13 AM

Thank you for your reply. Sadly enough, I do not have insurance, and can't afford to have the Mirena removed or use another type. I feel like I was pressured by my GYN to get it, but I wasn't alert to the fact that I wouldn't have insurance afterwards to cover any after care or problems related to it until it was too late. I am not having side effects from the IUD except for the lack of sex drive and vaginal dryness. Using a lubricant helps the dryness and can sometimes help with the discomfort. I kind of wonder if the pushing during labor could have affected the shape or placement (?) of my insides. My uterus was pointed upwards a bit during both pregnancies; could something just have shifted during labor and stayed that way? I'm going to see my midwife today, but she will refer me back to my GYN if there is a problem. I just feel more comfortable talking with her about these things. I didn't have any problem with my episiotomy, and I only had it with my first child. That's why I'm so confused as to why my opening is so tender this time around, since we did the massage thing and I didn't even tear. I can orgasm with masturbation, and on the rare occasion that sex isn't painful. I'm just hoping that today will get me some answers somehow.

**WildChild** · 04-28-2011 11:09 AM

I can certainly relate to the no insurance thing. Have you talked to the people at Planned Parenthood? They are THE experts at this. A GYN does an IUD now and then, they do them daily. Getting it removed is no biggie - seriously it takes seconds and you hardly feel it. Planned Parenthood has pretty reasonable costs. Check into that it may be an option.

The vaginal dryness speaks to a hormone imbalance very probably from the Merina. Those hormones control so much in our bodies! Check out Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom, your library should have it.