I hate my vagina!

**Elvira** · 05-05-2011 07:15 AM

I'm sorry if this is posted in the wrong place, but I couldn't really find anywhere more relevant.

This has been a long term opinion of mine but it's never really bothered me until I recently started dating a guy who is mad keen on giving oral sex.

I don't honestly think there's anything wrong with my vagina, but I just think it's disgusting.

When we've had sex so far, I've only once let him go down on me and that lasted all of about 1 minute before I pulled him up coz I just couldn't bear the idea of him looking at it. Even when we have sex (sorry I know this is a bit graphic) and he pulls out, I have to jump off and cover myself up so he doesn't see it.

I have no idea why I'm like this. He doesn't seem to mind too much, but I've got a feeling that it does bother him since it's something he enjoys so much and he can't understand why I'm so defensive about it when he knows there's nothing wrong with it. I know I'm being unreasonable, but I just can't seem to deal with it.

The only thing I can think of that might be putting me off is how wet I get when I orgasm. I get so wet, he often falls out if I orgasm first, but I've discussed that with him and he says that just turns him on even more and I shouldn't let it put me off.

He's so nice and treats me so much respect I've never met someone as decent as he seems so I don't want to put him off, but I don't know what to do other than lie back and relax, but I can't!

:-(

**WildChild** · 05-05-2011 07:38 AM

Sweetie I bet back in the dawn of your time in this life, you were told that was a "dirty", "bad" place to touch or look at. I suggest you make conscious choice to take action to get over it. This is your yoni, your sacred place, your love tunnel, your lotus, your body, your vulva and vagina. It has more nerve endings that any other part of your body (Only the bottoms of the feet come close) Men's penises don't come close to the number of nerve endings, this is a real blessing.

Get a mirror get naked and start looking and exploring, find, identify and learn the names of every part. Are you familiar the artist Georgia O'Keefe? She was famous for her flower painting - they are symbolic representations of the vulva, actually many are paintings of vulvas. Think about that vulva = flower. In ancient times before people threw the Goddess out the window and totally disrespected the creative generative power of women, the entry to many temples and even homes were made in some way to resemble the entrance to the vagina.

Think about the pleasure you get from sex (I hope you get pleasure from sex) and the pleasure you share sexually. What is not to love?

**Elvira** · 05-05-2011 08:31 AM

God no, nobody has ever said anything negative about my bits apart from an ex who joked about it stinking, but it didn't and I know he was joking so it didn't bother me.

I love sex! I think I enjoy it more than he does sometimes coz he wants to stop when I want to carry on, but he tells me it's just coz he's worn out.

I honestly don't know where it comes from, I just think it's horrible and don't like the look of the lips or loose skin and I absolutely detest pubic hair.

I guess I could try to get to know it better. To be fair, he already suggested that and offered to help if I wanted but I just told him to get on his bike, he wasn't tricking me into looking at it that easily.

I really really want to do something about it because I'm worried he'll just get tired of me making a big deal out of nothing. He doesn't suffer fools very well and I'm worried about falling into that category.

I know I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but I just don't know what to do about it.

**Elvira** · 05-05-2011 08:31 AM

God no, nobody has ever said anything negative about my bits apart from an ex who joked about it stinking, but it didn't and I know he was joking so it didn't bother me.

I love sex! I think I enjoy it more than he does sometimes coz he wants to stop when I want to carry on, but he tells me it's just coz he's worn out.

I honestly don't know where it comes from, I just think it's horrible and don't like the look of the lips or loose skin and I absolutely detest pubic hair.

I guess I could try to get to know it better. To be fair, he already suggested that and offered to help if I wanted but I just told him to get on his bike, he wasn't tricking me into looking at it that easily.

I really really want to do something about it because I'm worried he'll just get tired of me making a big deal out of nothing. He doesn't suffer fools very well and I'm worried about falling into that category.

I know I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but I just don't know what to do about it.

**ItsASecret** · 05-05-2011 08:33 AM

I think mine is absolutely disgusting as well but that is because I was born with a medical condition and as a result my vagina is not structured the same as the average woman's. I do not know what it is like to have a 'textbook' vagina with the proper folds in places and I hate the way it looks and that will never change. I will never like it personally, physically it is not what it is supposed to be in places and absolutely no one can relate to how I feel because they have a 'proper vagina' and I do not. But I have learned to just ignore my hate because my bf likes to look. It took me a long long time before I even let my bf go down on me and pull his head back a bit to look around. Basically I just told myself I cannot keep this up forever it is not fair to my bf always putting my hand to hide it or closing my legs so I literally just said eff it and let him look one day. I was pretty much on the verge of crying from the anxiety but I am good at zoning out so I did just because I knew it meant a lot to him that being so insecure and actually letting him look was a big step. Since then I have been more comfortable with him looking, he constantly tells me how much he loves looking at it and how happy he is that I let him now. My anxiety is still there but the more times you let him look the easier it becomes. He knows I will never get to the point of prancing around thinking I have some gift and that I should spread my legs at any given moment to show it off but he accepts that and knows that I am still insecure about it while still letting him have a look around.