My boyfriend and I are both virgins - I'm 19 and he's 20. I read that by this age, a girl's hymen should be worn down enough so that it plays a very small role in penetration pain. Our problem is that, he tried inserting his pinky once, and I was literally in tears. I could feel... something... down there... opening? And it was very painful and burned a little, so I was crying, and we stopped for the night. The pain also lingered a while.

We don't have lube (the only lube we have is the on the Trojan Fire and Ice condoms we bought... but I'm not even going to tell you how embarrassing it was trying to insert his penis... that would not go in. There was no pain; it didn't pass the vulva.), so the next time, we tried oral before penetration. It didn't leave me in tears, but he could only get half his pinky in before it starting becoming painful, and I told him to stop.

We haven't tried penetration since. Honestly, he can get further inside me than I can... I've tried many times, and my little fingers can't even enter at all.

I don't know what's wrong with me - if I have vaginismus, or if my hymen is too thick with too small a hole...

It's gotten to the point where part of me doesn't even want to have sex, ever...