I was wondering if anyone could help me with this problem. I made the mistake of sleeping with a man whom I worked with. He seemed nice and I was fresh off a really difficult break-up. We dated for a while but things 'down there' got weird all of a sudden. I was diagnosed with an STD. It was easily treatable and not a huge problem but I was upset. Later I found out I was also pregnant. The guy threw me some money for an abortion and fired me. Being scared and still in school, I had the abortion and immediately regretted it. The problem is that I have met a man whom I adore. He is sweet, gentle, and incredibly supportive. One of my best friends introduced him to me and we have hit it off. We have been dating for the past 2 months and knows my past. The other day in bed he made a joke about my vagina only staying wet for 2-3min. I was horrified! I started crying. He instantly apologized and begged me to forgive him. But I feel so sexually inadequate. If he's not aroused by my vagina, is he also looking at my belly flab and turned off? I now think of my vagina as a dirty, nasty thing. It's ugly. I hate it. I now am stiff during sex and constantly nervous. He's amazing and tells me how happy he is with me in every way and I don't want to lose him bc of my own insecurities! How do I get past this? If I use lube he knows and I feel like its worse than just admitting Im not wet. What should I do?
If I was you I would use some strawberry astroglide and feel like a Queen. Every women has a beautiful sexual body. The more you let yourself free and spread yourself to the wind, the more you show your self confidence in who and what you are. Doing these things makes you juicy. Along the line have your own hot fantasy. Leave him out of it if you want to but go to your place of erotica and let him do his and your things.......
I'd recommend finding a professional to speak with. That could really help you work through some of your issues.
I would also be as honest as possible with your boyfriend. If he doesn't know, tell him about your insecurities and that you feel very sexually inadequate. Its completely okay to admit that you're not wet, and to use lube. If your boyfriend doesn't understand, then he's probably not worth it. But if he is as sweet and understanding as you make him seem, I'm sure everything will be okay with him.
Try your hardest to be confident in the bedroom, and not think about your insecurities. You'll enjoy it so much more then.