Thread: Spying

The urge to do that kind of checking up comes two sources; insecurity or some sort of warning signs. My past experience with a cheating ex was that once I wised up, I always knew when he'd found another one. It might have seemed subconscious but there were subtle clues in his behavior.

The insecure person seems to assume everyone does it and isn't able to trust. The man in my life now has dealt with quite a bit of that and I think sometimes he's a little unsure how to deal with the fact that I trust him completely. At first he tended to check, 'did it bother you that I noticed that woman?' Now I think he kind of enjoys it, he can relax a bit. I've wondered how often someone has felt pushed into something because they've already been suspected.

One other biggie seems to be that cheaters often accuse their partner of cheating. I haven't and don't do this kind of checking. If I were to feel I needed to it would be a warning sign that there was trouble brewing.