Thread: Do you think porn is good or bad?

"Luckily he agreed and has promised to stop. He actually broke down and cried in my arms. We shall see. I drew a line and said it was something I didn't want in a relationship and broke my sacred space with him..."

I am really sorry to say this in such a blunt way but, I think someones gotta say it. You sound like the crazy ex-girlfriend. (Which you will be the ex soon enough if you keep your realtionships going in that manner) I mean, are you serious? Not only did you make your boyfriend feel like he was sick and disturbed for doing something that is healthy and normal (for most men) you broke him down like a child to where he ended up crying in your arms. You may think that porn is not natural or unhealthy but girl, your the one that is unhealthy. I think your issues run far deeper than a feministic way of looking at pornography. You have low self esteem and you are scared that your boyfriend is more attracted to other women than he is to you. Grow up. There is a reason this guy is with you and from the way you made him out to be he seems like he is sensitive and willing to accept the way you feel about things and compromise. Not all men are that way so I think you should just accept the fact that he is going to look at it EVEN IF HE TELLS YOU HE ISN'T. Now you've gotten it to the point where he will be scared and do it secretly without you knowing it afraid you will jump down his throat or break up with him. I personally had my feelings hurt before in the past when I realized my boyfriends were looking at porn either on the computer or had mags/movies......I never threatened them or made them feel bad. I just got upset and asked questions and after we talked about it everything was okay. Now after the third (or so) boyfriend that I've had the discussion with I have realized that it is a perfectly healthy normal thing. Men are more visual than women that is all it is. If he could pull a picture out of YOU looking sexy and seductive, he would. It doesn't mean that he would stop looking at porn. It doesn't mean he is gross or perverted or that HE DOESN'T LOVE/CARE FOR YOU AS MUCH?? Get that outta your head or you will NEVER have a good relationship. No one says you have to love porn or watch it with your boyfriend or anything of the sort. You are allowed to have you opinions and be respected (as long as you are WILLING to accept a few things yourself and be open minded as far as the relationship goes) You need to work some stuff out with yourself and then with him. If he isn't ashmed for having his girlfriend break him down like a baby then he will be able to open up to you and tell you why he likes it, how much he looks at it, and he will tell you that it doesn't change the way he feels for you. These images.....which is all they are.....have no connection to his heart or mind the way you would. Just his body Good luck!!

I actually think it can be fun. After a couple of drinky-poo's, everyone out of the house, and SHAZAM!!! Only once did I not enjoy it. We rented a video and it started to have a rape scene in it. I gonged that one right quick, and it ruined the mood for me. Other than that, I say to each his/her own.

I think this is probably the most intense site I have read so far... Although I usually have alot to say, I don't want to "get in to trouble" LOL So I will just say that WildChild did A fantastic job of explaining her points. And I agree with ALL of them. One thing I will say to Pixiegirl is "two wrongs don't make a right" And threatening your bf will only cause resentment and can seriously backfire. You seem like a very unhappy person... with good reasons, I'm sure, but its only going to hurt your life even more to keep carrying around your anger. I believe everyone, in one way or another, male or female, has been hurt or abused at some point in their lives... its up to you to decide if your going to allow it to destroy you, or make you a stronger person. Good luck to you

I also agree with jaderose!! Well put!!

I personaly don't believe in a loving, caring relationship where both partners are being sexualy satisfied, that a man/woman has any reason to watch porn, now, an occational maxum magazine, fine, yeah but watching another woman having sex? i don't think so. my fiance watches porn. alot, i've tried to get him to stop and he knows how i feel about it, but he continues to do it. and the crappy part is, that i am the one always wanting sex. i would love to have it every day, but he says that thats too much, he only wants it about every 3 days, and yet he is so overcome with hornyness that he has to watch porn even though he is telling me that we have sex too much? thats bull i think but nomatter what i say it doesn't matter, he is ten years older than me and alittle past his prime sex time, but if he is only wanting sex with me 3 times a week, but still watching porn. i think there is a problem. anyone able to helP????

Well, to me the only time porn is bad is when it interferes with your relationship...or..better said, used to replace REAL intimacy with your spouse...

I don't do porn, I have tried watching it, it doesn't make me angry, I actually end up critiqing the scenes..lol..drives hubby nuts!!!!..

If used in balance, just like everything in life there is no issues...and I find that the only women whom scream "why are you watching another woman have sex" are the ones who are seriously insecure..SOme may have legitimet reasons i.e abuse, rape(btw I am a rape victim)..But those who are just flat out insecure..My personal opinion is you should not "make" your spouse do anything that is a natural thing in life...

Next we are going to start hearing "OMG he is fantasizing about her"...Fantasy is just that a fantasy...We are spouses not "thought police"....As long as they are kept that way it's all good!

Married15: I agree with everything you said (which is really unusual for me <g>).