Thread: Cheating or just plain crazy?

Hmmm... this is a tough one. You ask if this is cheating, thats not exactly something anyone can say for sure, as everyone has thier personal views on what cheating is. BUT personally I think it's more of an attack on your privacy...Giving her personal private details about you would have hurt me more than what he actually did. Have you confronted him about it? Asked him what he was doing or why he was doing it? It could have been something as simple as he was using this girl to play out erotic fantasies he has/had...you with another woman? Or it could be something completely different I obviously can't say for sure.
Btw I too am 20, not married but have been with my fiance for almost 4 years and we are expecting our 2nd child in the new year, so you might as well say we are married...lol but put in the same situation I think I'd feel my privacy violated more than cheated... husband or not he had no right telling this girl your life story let alone send pictures you no doubt intended for private veiwings by yourself and your hubby...I do think though that you should at least confront him after all you didn't go on his computer with the purpose of snooping, it more or less fell into your lap...I mean no one can tell you exactly what he was doing or why except for him... Wish I could have been more help...good luck and keep us posted There are alotta awesome people on this site that would probably be more than willing to share thier wisdom with those in need of it

Hi,

I am new here, (have been "lurking" for a number of days, though, and decided this is a terrific forum ), so I hope you don't mind me replying, but your post really hit a nerve with me.

There is no way to put this delicately, so I won't try. He violated your privacy and trust. The internet is so very public, and for him to post pics of you without your permission is just plain stupid. I think this generation has gotten so used to writing and doing everything online that the dangers seem to take a backseat. In reality, what he did is very dangerous, and I think you need to find out why he did it. In truth, he has no idea who he was "talking" to online. I really wish people would remember that the internet, as wonderful as it is, can be used for bad as well as good. Maybe he thought he was being clever, thinking no harm, no foul, but in my opinion he has some "splainin" to do. Maybe joint counseling would be in order so you both can figure out why role playing is so important to him. I think it would be much more fun to have you play a role with him instead of the internet characters. As I am sitting here thinking about this, maybe he was thinking he was just playing another role, like in the online game, which, by the way, can be very addicting. I know people, both sexes, that will play for days on end without hardly a break. I love the internet, and I play computer games, but something is truly wrong with that, IMHO.
Anyway, I hope you are able to sit him down for a good heart to heart. He needs to know that was inappropriate behavior, and it needs to stop.

This is not cool what ever excuse he has.... its one thing if he had conversation with this women under pretenses that it was you but to send this woman naked pics of you... um there are so many naked pics availalbe on line he didn't actually have to use your personal pics. that is a complete violation of trust right there... then using your account... and well there are a lot of issues here.

impatientlywaiting:

I most certainly do think it was an attack on my privacy! The whole thing is just ridiculous. I have tried to talk to him about it. He gets very defensive and pushes me away. He won't even give me an answer to the question why. I'm just so hurt that he can't open up to me. I already know the whole situation so it's not like he can hurt me much more. I think he is more embarrassed than anything. But, maybe he should have thought about that before he did this.



rileysbestbet:

New or old I don't mind you commenting I appreciate all support. You are very right... I am so angry that my pictures are floating around. I'm just hoping that it really was some innocent girl that was just as violated as I was. Y'know... before we got together he said that he used to have an addiction to porn. Maybe that never went away. The thing is - I want to go to counseling and stuff but I don't know if I could ever put this whole thing behind me. I realized last night that it can never be the same. Our relationship can never be the same. My feelings will never be the same. & that is very scary to me considering we've only been married for a couple of months. I suppose I'll try talking to him for a third time today.


Joy:

Yes, many many issues. That is why I am so ... well, just completely lost. That's why I think I will never get over this... even if I did get over this and we could be intimate again I think I would just think about this time and feel disgusted.