Thread: Cause for concern?

I'm wondering if i have cause for concern or if i'm just being totally irrational. Here's the scoop.

Hubby and i have been married for 4 years and we have 2 kids. He sells insurance and is a manager at his company and is responsible for training new hires. He takes new hires out on appointments with him for 2 wks, they split the commission and then they are on their own. About 5 weeks ago he started training a woman. She is 40 married and has children (we will call her Kelly). When he first started working with her he would always come home all excited about how "promising" she was, that she was smart and a hard worker (he gets on override of any business his agents submit so of course he was excited that she was a hard worker).

About a week into their training our cell phones got shut off because we couldn't pay the bill (LONG story), we weren't exactly sure when they would be turned back on and then about 3 days later Hubby calls me and says that kelly paid our phone bill. He said he didn't ask her to that she just came in and asked if his phone was working when he said no she told him to double check and what do you know they were back on. I thought it was a little weird because i know to make a payment you have to at least have the billing zip code and last 4 of the social security #. I told him i thought it was a little weird and he said she was just being nice. Dont get me wrong, i consider myself a nice person and if i had the money i would do the same for a family member or close friend without question (actually have before) but they had known each other less than a week at this point!

New agents are responsible for setting the appointments and she started setting them really late so that he wasn't getting home until 10-11pm. I'd ask him why he was so late and he would say that "kelly" set the appointment for 9pm 45 minutes away or something. Which isn't unheard of but its very rare that someone is ok with you coming to there house for an hour at 9pm. I didn't really think anything of it it just bothered me he was home so late as he wasn't spending much time with the FAm. 5 wks have gone by and he is still training her. I asked why (especially since he has 3 new agents that need to be trained) and he said that she needed extra help because she's kind of slow. I would have taken it at face value if he hadn't been so ecstatic weeks earlier about how great she was at the job already.

Then yesterday he comes home and tells me that she bought him 5lbs of his favorite candy, i innocently said "wow, she must have a crush on you". He flipped out and proceeded to rip into me, at one point he said "She is the epitome of a good person and just because you aren't or cant understand that doesn't mean there is anything going on". The way he freaked out on me makes me wonder. Also the fact that i know that the only place you can buy that candy is at least 40 miles from where she lives and it is $6 a pound which means she spent over $30.

It just all seems inappropriate to me. Im a stay at home mom now but when i was working there is no way i would do those things for a married boss. There were several times when i would bring things in but they were always for everyone not specifically my boss. What do you guys think? Am i overreacting? I really don't want to bring it up again seeing the way he flew off the handle the first time unless there really is cause for concern.

I don't think he's done anything, and i haven't accused him of anything. I do worry though what might happen down the road if it doesn't stop. I think most of us know that infidelity is usually a gradual thing.

You are NOT being irrational. Your husband is being completely insensitive you! Whether or not this womans intentions are anything to be concerned about is kinda irrelevent.. the most important thing here is your marriage.. She can want, or try to get your husband any way she wants, but the question here, is will he cheat or be tempted to cheat? Only you can answer that. Don't let him talk to you like that either... you have a right to be suspicious, and its his responsiblity to make you feel reassured! And he obviouly didn't, so I know I would be worried, only because of his reactions. My advice to you is don't let him think this type of behavior is tolerated. At the very least, you should be "allowed" to speak of your concerns... its not like you accused him or anything.