look at the faces of your children and try to find the fight to carry on for them. I know what you are going through I really do and tomorrow is a battle to get to. Dont think to far ahead try to take one hour and one day at a time. It is not your fault what has happened. You have to take a step back now and try to find in your heart what is going to make you feel a bit better at a time. I have been reading alot of self help books and although they dont take the pain away they do numb it a little. You will get through this I promise you. If I can do it so can you. Speak to me if you need help on here and I will answer. you will be in shock at the moment the only thing yuo ill think about is getting the life back that you felt secure with.....give yuo self time to except what has happened....dont rush it and dont be afraid to cry. There is no shame in crying he is not winning if you cry it is part of how we heal. I know you want him back everyday I feel the same about my lost wedding the life I knew the comfort in being with him. i cant take your pain away but dont give up........