Thread: carrying the pain

hi sweets
It would be easy for me who is not in your situation to say, "oh, hang in there" or " oh it's just hard at the begining or that you shouldn't miss him."
So no i'm not gonna say any of that, because you are a woman full of passion just like myself and i know you miss your man.
So i would like you to look at it from a logical point of view. I know you loved this man, but imagine yourself married with a couple of kids and then you had found out about his debts and his financial difficulties.
Ofcourse by then it would be out of your hands to help and it would be not only about your and your needs. Because then you would have to think about the future of your children which had gone down the drain.

Life, Love and relationships are hard and sometimes dissapointing but it would help to believe that there is always a reason for everything. Maybe it was your destiny to not marry him in order to protect yourself from having to go through alot more pain the future.

There is always a reason for everything.
I will be sending you my best wishes and prayers and hope that you feel better soon.
Just believe that

Thankyou for your support it helps so much reading all your words and of course you are right. I see my mum and dad together and I just thank myself that they are still here and healthy. My mum and dad are both orphans both brought up by the nuns and I feel at times that ive let them down so badly ......They were so happy about the marriage and thought for once I had found happiness and I could not even keep it together. I have gone to another stage now a bit like marple above...I know it is over and I feel numb ..I have excepted my fate but I feel lost inside and dont know quite how I will get passed the break down. It may have been different if it was not for the wedding. I spent hours designing our wedding invitations...sorting out bits only for him to tell me "forever is a long time and I dont think I can spend the rest of my life with you." We had a pregnancy scare just before he left and he seemed really happy either way and when I mentioned this and said but you seemed so happy he said, "When you were not pregnant I saw it as an omen- a chance to start my life from new again." I was so hurt I just could not stop crying. I know we were arguing alot before the wedding but it was over money worries all the time and I guess I felt angry inside that he had lied to me so much about money that it built up in other ways. He just thought I was angry but I had just lost all my trust in him as a person. He did not love me enough to work at it and said we have been here before. When I got his e-mail about money and there are things he would have thought I would have given back I assume he meant the ring. He was just like a stranger and for me this Christmas has to be the worst time of my life. I think about the people on here and how supportive and kind people are and it makes me want to get through this it really does. You also realise you are not alone. You step outside and the world is turning ...everyone seems to be walking faster ...speaking faster...you get caught up in the moment and its then you realise that the world will carry on and everyone has to carry their pain. It just seems at the time in all the hustle and bustle of life you are a lost soul in the middle of it all, screaming inside, searching for kindness in someones face. The world is the best thing ever when you are loved by someone and you love them back..... when it has gone you feel so alone. Wildchild is right we have to find happiness inside so we can love again but it is not always easy to find that when your confidence is in shatters on the floor. what makes it worse is there are so many people in the world suffering that would do anything to have a healthy life ...Thats what makes it worse that i wish for time to pass quick when others would do anything fo the time we have.