Thread: to confess or not?

Don't tell him while he's deployed. You know better, it's rules one, two, three, four and five that you don't tell your man ANYTHING bad while he's deployed, if you can help it.
When he comes home, though, it's up to you. Are you just doing it to get it off your own chest, or to help the relationship?

To help the relationship.. I love him more than anything.. I feel like I don't deserve him!

I want us to be together, and I want to have a good happy fun relationship.. I think that him telling me he was bored and felt stagnant just showed me that things need to change, and I realized I was also feeling lonely and under appretciated etc.

I do agree that I shouldn't tell him while he's deployed.. but now I'm lying.. and it's just going to make it so much worse! Well.. or he'll appreciate that I didn't tell him while he was gone.. It's not a long deployment, just 2 months. And I didn't cheat because I was so sexualy frustrated.. It's because I wanted to expeirience someone that wasn't bored with me. And that's why he goes to strip clubs too.. to get the attention. I don't know if he's cheated.. he's kinda closed off a lot of the time. I dunno.. we have a lot to learn. I hope he'll understand and stay with me.

i wouldnt say a word, unless you want to hear it thrown in your face, as an excuse for him to go wild, sounds like you needed more a confidence boost, maybe you could work on that in more appropriate ways.

I agree, do not say a word. Keep your side clean and forget it happened. Also, do not let him force into stuff you do not wanna do.
Over all I think your marriage is in trouble. Both of you looking around?

I would define MARRIAGE as a relationship of Monogamy and your husband was very very wrong for offering a threesome and wanting swinging. To me, that is not a marriage, that is an open relationship because MARRIAGE is about commitment to ONE person with whom you share mentally and physically.

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Although, I do believe it is his fault for under appreciating you and pushing you to someone else's arms, you had no excuse to sleep with someone else. I think you were wrong by having an affair, instead you should have tried spicing up the relationship by asking him about his fantasies, role playing, porn and etc.

However, now it is too late to feel sorry about the situation and telling him would probably ruin your marriage. If i were you, I would not say anything and instead of trying threesomes, swingin and open marriage i would try to spice up the relationship other ways.

Believe me, I know what i am talking about. My husband and I are newly weds and for a long time he was not interested in sex. I tried and tried many ways and roles and finally i discovered that counseling is what we needed.
Once i got him to open up to me, he told me what was wrong and we started to have a much better and fun sex life.

If you are spiritual ask for guidance and help, if not just try to forgive yourself and work on your marriage. We all make mistakes and you are neither the first or the last. So try and best of luck to you.