do you believe in fate?

**geogeo** · 02-02-2009 01:26 PM

On sat I had a man come to look at my car and after all the heart ache I have been through i could not believe it when he started wirting a cheque out for the car! As he was writing the cheque out and saying i love the car i want it .....the estate agents rang...hello the voice said we have good news for you...we have sold your house! I was shaking with shock could not believe it has turned out like this....Of course the sale has not gone through yet but she fell in love with the house. It was our house but never mind. The thing is I wanted it to be our house I really did. I still love him but dont like him as a person. I have come so far in two months. I love him as a friend but dont know quite how I feel about him anymore. He is not a fighter and walked out on us and is weak and believes the grass is greener on the other side. I sent him a lovely e-mail to say dont give up in love next time and nothing. He is not the person I loved and that helps me to get strong. I use to really love my ex that I went travelling with and now i see he never came close. To caught up in finding mrs perfection to realise he was far from perfect and very difficult to live with. He made me frustrated and I was fed up of carrying him ...I felt like he would never stand on his own two feet. Sounds awful but Im starting to think I am so glad I did not marry him. Is thi wrong that i should feel this way after two months. I now realise i can aford a lovely house ...more so without him....I have paid off my honeymoon loan from the sale of my car and have bout a lovely MR2 out right .....I saved the money....he did not know i had some savings that I did not tell him about. From the equity on my house I can buy a house up to 200,000 pounds! I could never have got that with him!!!! I am looking at a lovely house on sunday and may put a offer in if it is the right one...I feel he held me back in life....So many lovely men have shown and interest but am not ready yet and i never knew that I was worth anything with him! Well my life is getting better and I do have down times but oh my god what would my life have been like with him??????I never understood what people wrote to me before but i can see in colour now!!!!!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-02-2009 04:08 PM

I read that with a smile on my face, from ear to ear.

Well, when "good" things happen, all of a sudden you see other good things and then you start realizing all you were hanging on to was the "want" to love and be married, instead of the person.

It's when we settle for someone in hope that we can change them remember, but once the anger has subsided and the hurt has decreased, it is only then that you start to see strangers admiring you, good fortune happen as a result of your decisions and then you see more, and it is clear.

Independence can provide you the understanding of what you are capable of achieving and also what you "gave" away.. What you therefore would never have achieved had you remained. And what you really don't need or want again in your life.

Lessons learnt never again to be repeated.

Never settle... It's not a man you want, it's "the man" and he's out there.

CW

**WildChild** · 02-02-2009 08:46 PM

So true CW. How's the song go? "lessons learned are like bridges burned, you only need to cross them but once."

**elsa_niloo** · 02-02-2009 09:11 PM

I am sooo very happy for you sweets.
but do not forget that now you have a responsibility, simply because you are blessed to be a role model for all of the women who do not believe in the silver lining after a cloud.

your story is very encouraging and i am sure will help alot of women to help themselves and learn that not every heart break is bad and that there really is a reason to everything that happens to us.

I wish you even more happiness and success and hope you meet the man of your dreams too who will take you higher than you ever were.

**happy ending** · 02-03-2009 02:25 AM

congrats geogeo, sounds like things are going your way!!

**torn2pieces** · 02-03-2009 09:09 AM

This makes me think. I could break up with him, go though some pain (so bad I think it never will end and is killing me) but I am sure that I also would see clearer once the rain is gone. My birthday is 2/9 and what I really want is a clean break. I wish there was a door I could walk into and it be a clean slate. Oh, oh, oh, I am stuck...

**geogeo** · 02-03-2009 11:56 AM

torn to pieces...It is never easy ...I still have my down days and do feel lonely .It has not been long just over two months. Its hard going through it. You always feel deep down what if I do this ...I might be alone...what if I carry on ....and so on. all I can say is there is one question you should ask yourself? Are you really happy? If you are not be strong enough to try to break away...go through the pain to find a brighter day. When my fiancee left me I was on the floor, desperate, alone ....lost weight and was so sick. I am still fighting all of this but I know that it will take much longer to get over it the more you stay in it. Things start to fall into place but its because I have stood up and made it happen. It was so hard putting my house up fo sale and selling my car. I didnt have to do it but I knew I had to in order to move on. This way Im starting again and getting back up because you know what life is not a rehersal...we get one life and thats it. You hold your own cards and your fate is in your own hands. I cant promise you it will be easy but trust me when I say If I can get through what I have been through you can do it to. Im still getting through it and I have a big journey ahead. My heart is still broken but I believe in myself. Im not a bad person and I tried to do the best thing by my ex...but with all his money worries and his immaturity when it came to money I turned into a person I didnt really like to much. You have to believe that these times are here to test us to make us look at ourselves and how we can become better people. Im hear trying to support you ...that is a positive ......did you think you would ever reach out on a forum for help...~I did not but that is a postitive. there are some fantastic people on here and when you can reach out you are prepared to take the next step. That will happen naturally because we can only take so much pain before it starts to eat us up and destroy us inside. Are you hurting inside? If you are you cant go on like this. BE strong right down how you would like to move forward and what your ideal partner would be like and how they would treat you. You can do it and you will move forward X

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