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What would happen if you pulled the plug on him?
I feel the exact same way as you. I'm young ( 41?!), with a 10 yr old boy, and 9 year old girl. And instead of doing normal dad stuff, oh, dad can't talk because he's " in a dungeon" ( thats the worse to have any conversation!) And I an angry, very sad, and very frustrated!Originally Posted by swestward
What would happen if you pulled the plug on him?
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
Uninstall the game and delete all the updates from the folder (it will take him days to install everything again). Leave him for a few days to make him realize he's addicted (he will act like a drug addict off his drugs -scream, blame you, get upset). Take the game's manual with you (it has the installation code). Don't let him renew his account, react when he does so. Make it unpleasant for him to play, so that he connects the activity with unpleasant feelings. It's an addiction but you can save it.
I play online games all the time. I've done more than 96 hours in a week before. Saying that, I'm not married and don't live with my gf so it's not so much of an issue. She does get fed up if I'm playin a lot while I hang out with her. Sometimes we compromise and watch tv together while I play and quite often I just don't play at all cos it's only nice init.
My problem isn't so much an addictive personality as an obsessive one. Put a crossword under my nose and I'll spend hours tryin to solve that instead.
The allure of online games to men is manifold but I like that they're goal-driven. The goals are simply achieved, they just require lots of time thrown at them. This appeals to blokes. I don't know why but it does. Find them other goals to complete. If these games challenge them in a rewarding way, challenge your husbands in a rewarding way. As, clearly, homelife either isn't challenging or rewarding enough for them to want to be a part of it more than video games.
LOL and interesting but I think simplistic solution.
Maybe points and obsticles to giving her an orgasm a day? Extra levels or values for throwing in some housework?
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
Tbh, challengin a man to anythin is a good way of gettin him to do it. I remember my first year in uni, I just left the flat a complete state. There were shoes hangin from the cieling, stolen 'for sale' signs decorating the walls, food waste everywhere, a tower of beer cans and several hundred chips scultped into the shape of a penis.
Me and the sole other male flatmate (there were 5 girls) just refused to clean or tidy anything, safe in the knowledge the girls would get sick of the mess and do it for us. We left shoppin trollies around the place, our dirty clothes on the floor, it was a massive -tip. Then one day the girls promised they'd all buy me and Ross easter eggs if we cleaned the place. That's five each! I swear to God, it was like a showhome by the time we finished. I've never seen a flat so clean, I'm not even sure how I managed it.
So yeah, in gettin a man to do anythin he doesn't want to, you've got to treat it like he's a child. You either shout and cajole him or make it fun and rewarding. Might be time for a change of tack!
World of Warcraft
My husband also spends many hours playing Wow. I don't know if it is an actual addiction as he has a good job and it doesn't affect his work performance. He also enjoys drinking while he plays the game. However, I agree that Wow is not the underlying problem. My husband has an addictive personality and has had several addictions in the past. Pornography, gambling, excessive television watching, tobacco, and alcohol. He is high functioning in spite of this and is a fairly good husband and father. We have been married 20 years and have 2 wonderful children, however, I have watched his motivation level slowly decline over the years, and it has really plummeted since he first started playing Wow about 6 years ago.
I was never a drinker, but the fustration and anxiety of being unhappy with a lazy husband led to me becoming an alcoholic. I have quit drinking and am trying to find other ways to cope with his addiction and laziness. If I ask him to do something, it will take months for him to get it done. Something as simple as cleaning out his office or the garage. If I ask more than once, he says I am nagging. He tells me he "plays a game" with me by not doing the things I ask to show me he will not put up with my nagging.
I love my husband very much, and after watching my own mom marry and divorce 4 times in search of the perfect husband, I vowed my marriage would be forever. He is faithful, and loving. I just feel he is not "plugged in" to the family and I feel resentful because of that.
Games like WoW offer a world of no real risk where achievement comes with the click of a mouse. Total loser with no friends? No problem, become a class leader in a guild and lots of people will look up to you. Flat broke? That's okay, with just a few hours of grinding every day you can earn enough gold to buy whatever you want. Menial job and no skills? Never mind, do your research and practise lots and you can master your class and be the envy of everyone you raid with.
Pfft. Give me real life any day.
My husband has been playing WoW for nearly 4 years. That means he's given half of our marriage to the game. We have three small daughters, as well as my teenage son. After years of tears, protesting, restricting his access, and generally feeling miserable about the state of our marriage, I'm about to enact an intervention with the help of his parents.
He's not going to be happy, and I know he'll do his best to make me feel like scum for taking the game away from him, but as far as I'm concerned he had no right to bring WoW into our marriage without ever giving me a choice. I'm sick of seeing the back of his head, and I want my real husband back, the one with a real social life and real-life interests. When his subscription runs out in a couple of days I'll be setting the parental controls to "no access", and I'll be giving his father the passwords for the account and the parental controls. His parents are arranging counselling for him, and probably marriage counselling for us as well. Life is going to be here for a while, and I know there's a chance he'll up and leave. I'm okay with that. I think I still love him - sometimes it hard to be sure, and that's really sad after a friendship that's endured since we were 13 - but if he chooses a computer game over our marriage and our kids, he's not someone I want to be with. The kids and I deserve better.
I am letting my WoW subscription run out, which will end in April. I really haven't been playing it at all for the past month. This game is truly addicting, I can see it now. In order to even achieve anything in the game, you have to sink several hours a day into it, literally. Blizzard created that game to hook people, because $15 a month from millions of people equals a ton of money. They want their subscribers to stay addicted, so they will keep bringing in the money. A lot of people use the game as an escape mechanism, which is fine in small doses. Everyone needs an escape, whether it be reading, painting, or video games. Everything needs to be in moderation, though.
I hope everything here can see how wasteful this game is, or make their partner see.
My heart goes out to all those that suffer from the addiction as well as to those that suffer because of a loved one's addiction. I was hooked on WoW for just over a year and my relationship dwindled to nothing. I finally quit cold turkey one day but my relationship never really recovered after that. It dwindled on for nearly another 2 years before it finally ended about a month ago. If anyone wants to commiserate on this, let me know!
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