My husband cheated on my with my friend

**KimM** · 02-24-2009 10:35 AM

My husband and I are high shcool sweet hearts. I have been with him for 13 years now, married for almost 10, we have 2 children and I recently found out that about 2 years ago he slept with my friend. This was a very close friend of mine from when we were young, our children play together all the time. I am so angry with her mainly because as a mother and as a women she should know better, I have been there for her always. my husband says they didn't actually do it because he walked out before it actually "went in" he was extremely drunk that night but still I don't care...them two shared something so special and intimate, something that was mine and now is not, now is their intimacy and my perfect life, my perfect famiyl is destroyed...I am now taking depression meds just to try and get back to normal...he really screwed me up...I really thought my life was so beautiful and perfect, I used to cry out of happiness that my life was so wonderful and now it just hurts to wake up in the mornings, I can't believe that the man I loed so much would do this to me. I was so sure of his love and he used to tell me all the time he would never ever cheat on me that was so wrong and low and that I was perfect and that he loved me...blah, blah...LIAR...anyways I'm still with him and I'm so unhappy...I try to keep going but I'm so unhappy and I think it's because I'm with him which goes against all I have ever believed. I really wish there was a really cute guy to come rescue me so that at least I can have a "good reason" to walk away...but I can't just leave

I know what I'm saying is not right but that is how I feel...if only there was another man out there then it would be so much easier to leave this loser man...gosh he has turned me into a monster

HELP!!!!!!!!!

**KaytKayt** · 02-24-2009 11:36 AM

You should rely on some other guy to come save you. Your happiness and mental well being should be enough of a reason to leave if that's how you really feel. I do think that it is possible that he does love you, and never stopped loving you. It sounds like he made a mistake, a very hurtful mistake yes, but still a mistake. We are all human and some of us do slip up. You might want to see a councilor before you throw in the towel, maybe find out why he did it and don't let him lean on the crutch of "being drunk".

**rhonda1967** · 02-26-2009 11:41 AM

Kim, I am sorry that happened to you but it happens alot between friends. It was only once and He probably regrets it more than you know. If you leave you are the one destroying your perfect family. I say forgive the guy and your friend and get past this. If you cannot do that it is because you just don't want to. If he did it again that would be the end. I know a guy who's wife had an affair with his sisters husband for 12 yrs. She even had his child( the other guy) The guy forgave her for everything. He loved her that much. They are still very happy. His sister did not forgive. Immediately filed for divorce, filed a restraining order on him so he could not see his kids.She has lived with several losers, ripped her kids hearts out, got on drugs, tried to OD on pills, and is the most bitter person I have ever seen. Her husband remarried right away and is very happy. Give forgivness a try! You will be happier, your marriage is worth saving. More importantly you are worth saving. We never know how strong we are until we Have to be strong. If He is truely sorry, He will be eternally grateful to you. Don't go trying to get even. You can't. Sure you can hurt him but then you are as dirty as he is. Stay pure and sweet.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-28-2009 04:26 AM

You say your life was perfect was it?

All that find out their man cheated say that, read the umteen threads, "exact" same words.

Regardless, of this... Your "friend" was not your friend, did you discuss with her your happiness? So she got jealous and wanted it all, like you had?

Did she play the cards? Has he ever had anyone do that to him? Was he drinking?Did he tell you and what happened?

Who do you trust?

Ditch her... number 1... she's not a friend.

TALK to him in full, listen, don't judge and tell this is what you really need... The truth regardless.

Ask him "What really happened? and Why? Are we missing something in togetherness?"

Don't for one minute think I am excusing him, rather, asking. There always seems to be a reason, ....

CW

**Steph33** · 03-01-2009 04:50 PM

It's nothing anyone expects. Due to what was done to him in past relationships, if I cheated once on my BF he would walk away. No reverse.

**impatientlywaiting** · 03-01-2009 10:12 PM

CW couldn't be more right...Ditch her. Get the truth out of him, and go from there! Good Luck and Stay Strong!

**tashac** · 03-24-2009 12:01 PM

Your story is so similar to mine, although my husband says doesn't remember, he always said he would never cheat on me and he loved me so much. I am so hurt and feel so depressed I can hardly even get dressed and look after my children. It goes against everything I believe, I know personally I feel like my life has been ruined and how can anyone forget something like this can it ever be repaired. I am having a hard time believing he even loves me cause even in a drunken stage shouldn't they love us so much that it would never happen. I am sure you will agree with me, I would have never ever ever been able to do such a thing, how could he do it to me and how could your husband do it to you.

Also wanted to tell you your thoughts are normal, I close my eyes and wish somebody loved me enough to save me)know isn't logical, but a normal feeling... maybe? My dream was to be loved so much nothing could ever go wrong. I know the old Stand by your man mentality but anything but this, how does one stand by someone who could do such a thing.

**bcnu** · 03-24-2009 01:03 PM

If I'm understanding this correctly, he was drunk when he made the mistake right? Maybe the real problem is not the cheating but the drinking. I've never been drunk before, but I think we all know what happens mentally to that person. Theres no reasoning going on. Now, if this has happened more then once then he's not respecting how u feel, but then again you have to ask yourself, Is this lack of respect dew to cheating or drinking? In other words, if he fixes the getting drunk problem would that make you feel safe enough to confide in him again?

**tashac** · 03-24-2009 01:38 PM

Absolutely drinking is the problem in my case and I would say for Kim too. I am not sure how to trust again, the thought for me that he could cheat even drunk is incredibly difficult. My concern is am I just waiting for it to happen again, will it only be fine for awhile until the next weak moment with alcohol. How can a guy actually be able to want to have sex with someone else, from a woman perspective I would probably deep down not love that person if I did that.

**Meshuu** · 03-28-2009 03:22 PM

The friendship is over. She was not a friend and you cant get THAT kind of trust back with a friend. As for your husband, seek counceling first before saying its over. Dont ask him what happened or how it happened, you dont want the details because dwelling on them will not help matters and you will only make yourself crazy. He made a horrible mistake but you can both become stronger from this. Men dont stray for love most times, drunk or not, men dont associate sex with love in the way we do. Dont beat yourself up over what he did. You will have to figure out now if you want to forgive and move on or end the relationship. It's horrible you have to go through this and my heart goes out to you.

Thread: My husband cheated on my with my friend

LinkBack

Thread Tools

Search Thread

Display

My husband cheated on my with my friend

Similar Threads

Please someone help me.... Husband cheated?

My husband Cheated on Me I need Help

My husband Cheated on Me I need Help

My husband cheated

My husband cheated on me...

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions