help?

**withered_rose** · 02-25-2009 10:58 AM

hello ladies, many of you have helped me before and I am just asking your help now. There are so many things that are going on with me right now its making my head spin, the wedding, wanting to quit my job, dealing with my mother, and things going on between me and my fiance. Lets start with the easy stuff, the wedding is coming along nicely and I can't wait to marry the man that I love, its just stressful trying to plan so many things when you hear "its what ever you would like to do" from your fiance. Now on to quitting my job, I know many of you are probably thinking that its a bad idea with the way that the US economy is going at the moment, but I am getting tired of all the that comes with a very low paying job. I do not make enough money to be babysitting 20 year olds. The stuff going on with my mother will never really get any better, so that's all I can say about that one. As for whats going on with my fiance, I dont really know what to say. He is very important in my life and I love him very much, and he has been with me through a lot. But recently there have been a few things that has been bothering me. He is very cuddly at night and so am I but here lately I have been pushing him out of bed and I dont know how or why, but instead of waking me up he just gets up and goes and sleeps on the sofa. I am also getting annoyed with the its what ever you want to do. I am sorry for such a long post but it just frustrating sometimes, and I know that it may not seem like a huge problem but its been going on for atleast a few months.

**Gal** · 02-25-2009 12:31 PM

See when you think that situation is going worse, enjoy that moment trust me it will make you feel better. Since you are left with no option neither to quit job nor give up on ur mom, forget that issue. When one door closes other window opens. Now about pushing your fiancee out of your bed is something serious. Ask yourself what makes you do that. Sit and talk ith him before he looses his interest in you. Go and consult some doctor for your unreasonable behavior. Try and make him comfortable on bed before sleeping by having and nice cosy chat. Its not mandatory that if you sleep together it should ed into physical closeness. Tie him n your romantic chat before sleep, you dream with what you sleep in your mind. Make him understand that its not that you dont like him next to you but you yourself dont knwo the reason. He might help you out of it.

**WildChild** · 02-25-2009 02:11 PM

Weddings tend to be much bigger deals to women than they are to men. Not that it isn't a significant step to them just that they don't get as into the whole process. Don't sweat that and don't go overboard. This whole thing of lavish weddings came out of a time long ago when the new emerging wealthy merchant class was imitating the long term wealthy and trying to impress others.

The pushing out of bed while you are sleeping is probably a result of stress. You have a lot on your plate; planning a wedding, dealing with your mom's problems, changing jobs, it's quite a bit to deal with. Do you meditate? That may help you clear your mind and calm down to sleep more peacefully.

Weren't you planning to live with your parents? To help with your mom? Is that still on the table? You should have some employment no matter what your future hubby earns, you need to get out of the house just to keep your sanity!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-25-2009 04:05 PM

Well, if you kept pushing me out of bed, I would go sleep on the lounge as well, that way I'd know I can sleep at least... haha.

I agree with the other posters, your under stress and as such you are probably tossing and turning to start with, which makes you tired and therefore, more stressed as your body can't relax... RELAX...

Also, it's true, men will say "what ever you want" because low behold if he makes a comment of something he wants and then you don't like it. Women know how to organise yes? And, this way you have the wedding exactly how you want it and maybe that is all he wants.

What about cars? Maybe ask him, what sort of car he wants, or what about what he is wearing? Surely he has decided himself there? Your not making him wear a pink tie are you? lol.

If you smiled a little, there's hope for you yet to de-stress woman.

But, as WC said, if not babysitting you need to find something, because finances are the "worse" stress sweet.

CW

**withered_rose** · 02-25-2009 09:21 PM

Thanks everyone.
WC I do not meditate but I probably should start. We are still planning on moving in with my parents to help out with my mom, she is much better now though surprisingly but sometimes she still tends to revert back, it really depends on what it is. And I always intend to work until we have children, then I will stay home with them for a little while atleast. As for the stuff going on with work its very childish and I feel that I should not have to baby sit at all.
CW LOL is all I can say. Thank you for the smile today. My fiance and I went out on a date night last night and it made things a little bit better. As for still kicking him out of bed that is still happening. I think you are right that I am really stressed out with a lot of things in my life right now, and as far as wedding stuff I am not making him wear pink, I was specifically told please no pink lol. I just need to relax after I come home from work every night. I am about ready to cry ever time I am done with work at the end of the night sometimes. Its just so frustrating and I think that may also be the root of the problem.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-25-2009 09:39 PM

Mmmm..... well working nights will do that to a girl, can't change your job to day times with other kids? What about a kintergarden?

glad i made you laugh... That's what's life is about is it not?

"Don't worry be happy" that's a song isn't it?

CW

**withered_rose** · 02-26-2009 10:56 PM

Actually I dont work with kids, I work with people that act like children, and as for changing my schedule if I do that, I would never see my fiance because he works evenings as well, I guess that its a lose lose situation. And CW you are right about laughing its healthy and that is what life is about. But what do you do when you need a change in your life but dont seem to have your foot in the door, not even a little bit, where the only thing that you seem to be able to do is something that you dont want to do at all any more? lol I am sorry I am a little negative here recently.

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