My Husband cheated on me and now he has a baby on the way.....

**bairn** · 06-01-2009 08:34 AM

Originally Posted by WildChild

Hi Bairn, Hoping you get a good answer soon.

i hope i do as well wildchild.

he had been keeping in touch with the other girl. it hurts alot. and he thinks i shoud just get over it now. he doesnt know how hard it is.

xx

**WildChild** · 06-01-2009 08:55 AM

Sounds like he has a pretty simplistic view of this. I just posted a reply to a man who is dealing with a gf who has been sneaking around to connect with other women. I talked to him about how relationships are really contracts, both have to agree to the terms and limits. The problem comes in when the details are assumed and haven't been really clearly spelled out or when one person goes outside the agreement. You have to either decide to modify your contract as it were or state that it is broken and has to be either ended or renegotiated.

He's in a spot though, if the child is his, he should have relationship with it and that requires contact with the mother at some level. If the child isn't his then it's another matter but not knowing yet makes it hard. Has she brought the little one in for the testing yet? If she isn't cooperating, he needs to make it clear that he will not consider the child his and will cut contact until the test results are known. If she's resisting testing and trying to draw him in emotionally first, she probably suspects the child isn't his.

Be good to yourself. This has to be very hurtful and frustrating. Neither you or your kids deserves to be put through all this so try to keep some fun in your life!

**HALFNOTHING** · 06-02-2009 12:32 AM

Nothing to add.. I agree to wildchild..it hurts and tough.. hard to death but you must take the consequences after the DNA test..

**bairn** · 06-02-2009 12:59 AM

wildchild.
thats awful for the man having to deal with his gf sneaking about connecting with other women.. i really feel for him. he doesnt need that.. honesty is what is needed in a relationship.

we havent heard if the girl has got the letter from the solicitor yet. but i think she would have. so just waiting to hear if she is going to go through with the dna. but if the child does turn out to be his. he doesnt want anything to do with it. he says our children are more important. but if he ever did have contact, then i want to be with him when he does so there is no secrets between us. and if the child isnt his then he HAS to stick to his word and not contact her again.

i will try and keep some fun in my life wildchild. thanks for all the support you are giving me.
xx

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-02-2009 03:17 AM

Which one are you left or right, lol?

Why is he still communicating daily? Is that to just get to "get" her to answer the letter from the Solicitor?

You know, I on one hand commend him for saying "your kids" are obviously more important 15 years... He better get on his knees i think and kiss the feet of which he admired and adored..

But, seriously? He can't ignore another child that is his, how fair will that be to that boy? When he's older, "I didn't want you?"...

"You were a mistake, I was married?", I don't know darlin... I hope he's not I so do, and you so way don't need this rubbish either, but maybe find it in your heart to suggest that you both as you stated, see the boy together....

You seem to have your head screwed on ....

I really feel for you on this one.

CW

**HALFNOTHING** · 06-02-2009 05:05 AM

it's getting complicated..

he, who has the fault must pay for this..If the dna result will be positive. seems that he is ruining lives.. getting people hurts.. i don't know if like this people deserve forgiveness.

We must first to wait for the result.. it must be tough but you have to stick on it until it will come out. think positive and be ready.. you have to find things that will make you comfort and forget what's happening...

**bairn** · 06-02-2009 06:00 AM

thanks all for your help through all of this. it means so much to me.
chandlerswish i have the long hair.
i am waiting to hear if she does agree to the dna. if she doesnt. then we can assume that the child isnt his.
he is trying to say he was keeping in touch to find out what was happening and to keep her away from my family. i dont know if i believe him about this.
we only got the solicitor last week. and i got the solicitor to send me a copy of the letter to which she was going to recieve. i only got the letter in on saturday.
yeah i do admire him for saying our kids.. i do wish he would get on his knees and beg for me to forgive him. not just to say he is sorry for all the hurt he has caused me over the years.
if the child does turn out to be his. then i would like for us to deal with it together. not just him. as its not only him thats in this mess. its all of us.

yeah babyriana things are complicated at present. it is tough and i am trying to hanging on..

thanks for all your kind words. your all good people

xx