Husband Cheated- Other Woman Pregnant

**Artiste** · 03-15-2010 03:19 PM

Ahh yes- someone wanted to know how I was feeling physically. From February to June, I dropped 40 lbs- mind you, I'm 5' 8. That put me at 115 lbs. I went from a size 9/10 to a size 2/4. People told me I looked like a walking skeleton. Half of my hair fell out, so I have to keep cutting it shorter and shorter to make it appear healthy. I got kidney stones. I'm on anti-depressants, Xanax and lunesta (which I still hesitate to take unless absolutely needed). And apparently, I grind my teeth so bad at night that my dentist says I have half inch calcium "bone" ridges on both of my upper gums above my back 4 teeth- and ridges forming along my bottom gums now as well.

I've gained 15 lbs between Christmas and now, just started feeling the need to go to a size 6, but I'm so stressed from all the new information, my body is starting the downward spiral again. My clothes are getting loose again, I see the hair in the shower drain again, my gums are bleeding. . .

It's like my body is saying "Enough! Get out of this!"

**Pinkyshot** · 03-15-2010 03:24 PM

I am sorry this has happen to you. I know how it feels to be cheated on...he didn't tell me I found texts on his phone...really people that cheat are just to stupid to bother with...I divorced him...I have 4 kids but I knew I deserved better and that I never be able to trust him again....he just wanted to forget it ever happened..lol..I was like I know I can do better than you and I have.

You really should not put your self through anymore pain like this...he needs to go to counseling, he has a big problem with lying and cheating ..idk how old he is but it seems its been going on for a long time and behind your back.....you should move on, because you deserve to be happy and in a stable relationship...you can only help a person like that so far...its up to him to want to change....I wish the best for you...it just makes me so mad that this stuff happens to people....if a person wants to sleep around they don't need to drag another person down with them.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-15-2010 03:28 PM

Deep breathe.

There all the negative reactions, to what has occurred.

Stress.

You can have long hair again, you can beat gingivitis, and you can glow in your skin, and weight what you want.

So,.... beat the stress, don't let it beat you.

It is saying ENOUGH... It's time to think positive and tell yourself, pfttt, you won't do this to me, there's no point, I'm better than that and I'm alive and will be happy.

All that "new" information, can be "old", make it that way, look in that mirror and say to yourself "enough".

**happy ending** · 03-15-2010 08:57 PM

i havent really got any advice, but i hope you can get through this, it must be devastating.

**MissMeSha810** · 03-16-2010 12:33 PM

Hey Sweets. Coming from a woman that has dealt with this experience, There are a lot of aspects that you must deal with and prepare yourself for. My husband, my bf at the time of this incident, cheated on me and the woman became pregnant. We've been together for six years now and married for three. This process goes in steps and you have to decide now if your going to stick with him through this hellish drama. If you then decide to stay, you have already been through the 'Baby I cheated' and the 'she is pregnant' phase. As time goes on, you may have forgiven him for the cheating, and even for the pregnancy, but your feelings will resurface when its time for him to go to the delivery room at the time of the child's birth, the name or last name of the baby, juniors and such. It's not really the baby you should be concerned with because baby did not ask to be here. It's the mother and the devious things she may do just to spite you.
Child support and paternity tests may also become an issue. Trust me I know! Always go for the test to make sure he won't be paying support for a child that is not his. Just make sure that you are not left out on any of these points. If you're going to stick by his side, do so at every turning point in this child's life and you want to make sure that the 'baby mama' is fully aware of your presence and your participation. This will deter further cheating on anyones part. I hope I've been of some help. Be strong my sister and it will take time. We went through this over three years ago and we are fine now...the baby mama keeps the child away from him because he is with me, a turn of spite because he is my husband and always will be.

**MissMeSha810** · 03-16-2010 12:39 PM

I'm so sorry sweets. I just read your most recent of posts and I wish I had talked to you sooner. Run like . It's not your responsibility. Take care of yourself first darling.

**WildChild** · 03-16-2010 12:49 PM

I'll second what Lana has said. He has problems. The question is why do they have to be your problems too? He has risked your health; emotional and physical, has repeatedly betrayed your trust and is apparently continuing to do so. How much do you take? Where and when do you draw the line?

**wellness** · 09-16-2010 06:43 PM

Hi. Hopefully things have gotten just a little better since, and yes I agree your husband is very sick and needs help. But you can still be there for him without being with him in a relationship. Honestly, he has to straighten himself out and maybe you not in the picture will be enough of a motivating factor in order to do that and get you back. There is no sense in having two peoples' lives go slowly down the gutter; you do not have to join him along in this miserable ride. Please take time to think this through and realize you need to love yourself first in this situation and there is really not much you could do in helping rehab this man. He has to that within himself and for himself.
Please learn to love yourself first. You do not deserve to get physically and mentally sick yourself over someone else's behavior. Start distancing yourself emotionally and ultimately physically as you are killing yourself being in this relationship.

Eventually if he keeps this up, you will likely lose your feelings for him as you become desensitized by his behavior and actions, finally say to yourself "who gives a sh** anymore", realizes you don't love him as you used to, and move on... that is what happened to me at least and I hope it happens sooner than later with you as you cannot put yourself through anymore hel* with this man. DON'T BE A MASOCHIST! It seems we women tend to be when we don't have to!